dear diary | minsung

68

the brunette sat criss-crossed in front of the mirror, his red shirt on the wooden floor, right beside him.

it had been 2 and a half months since his top surgery and he had fully recovered, finally. it felt like it took ages and today, after 3 months of waiting he was ready to tell him. that one person he had always held close to him unknowingly.

it genuinely sounded stupid, so stupid. he had been behaving and making moves with a mind of a ten year old's. he felt like the decisions he made were quite immature

he sighed as he picked up his phone that sat idle beside him though buzzing from time to time. the male looked at the text, smiling at his phone. it sounded so fucking stupid but that was fine, it was him. he was proud of himself for moving on, it was one step. a baby step though, but still something.

jisung pulled on the t-shirt over his now flat torso, satisfied with the look. he looked at the message again that was sitting in his notifications

'be there in 10 ;)'

his heart jumped. something that rarely ever happened, but when it did, it felt like the best thing ever, and at that moment, it felt right.

after a few minutes passing, there was a knock on the door. he opened it to see the male standing there, a soft yet radiant smile tugging against his lips.

jisung had always admired minho from afar, be it appreciating him for his dancing skills or the fact that he could be really nice to him despite his bitchy behavior. his heart a symphony of hidden notes whenever minho's radiant smile graced the hallways. minho was the embodiment of charisma, his presence like a magnet pulling everyone into his orbit. yet, behind jisung's enamored gaze lay a secret he had long kept, a truth that yearned to break free from the confines of his heart. all this despite him being a relationship then, was something he would never admit. ever.

the transition had been a labyrinthine journey, filled with self-discovery and introspection. jisung had embarked on this odyssey of identity, unraveled the thread of his true self from the tangled expectations of society. the name he had been given at birth felt like an ill-fitting cloak, and the reflection in the mirror seemed like a distortion. he was not simply a boy trapped in a girl's body; he was a symphony of courage and authenticity.

one autumn afternoon, as golden leaves danced on the breeze, they soon found themselves by the lake where jisung often sought solace. minho was there, as if fate had orchestrated their meeting. jisung's heart raced, a drumbeat of both excitement and trepidation. he knew that this was the moment, the crossroads where he could choose honesty over fear.

"hey," minho greeted with his signature warmth, a sunbeam breaking through the clouds.

"hi," jisung replied, his voice a soft whisper, carrying the weight of vulnerability.

minho settled beside him, and their conversation flowed like a gentle stream, meandering through topics trivial and profound. they laughed, they shared dreams, they connected. jisung found himself entangled in minho's words, the cadence of his laughter an intoxicating melody.

as the sun dipped beneath the horizon, casting hues of orange and pink across the sky, jisung's heart trembled within its cage. the words he had rehearsed a thousand times now hung at the edge of his tongue, begging to be spoken. the truth, his truth, was a bird desperate to take flight.

"minho," he began, his voice quivering like a leaf in the wind,

"there's something i've been meaning to tell you. i cant say for ages, but for quite a long time."

minho turned his gaze towards jisung, his eyes a canvas of curiosity, an invitation to confide.

jisung inhaled, drawing courage from the depths of his being.

"i'm transgender. i'm a boy and im sure you can very clearly see that by the way i look, and probably sound."

silence stretched between them, pregnant with the weight of revelation. jisung's heartbeats echoed in his ears, a symphony of uncertainty. then, minho spoke, his voice a soothing river breaking the dam of tension.

"thank you for trusting me with your truth, jisung. it must have taken so much to share that with me."

jisung's eyes shimmered with unshed tears. minho's acceptance was an embrace, a lifeline thrown to him as he navigated the tempestuous sea of authenticity. 

"i was scared," jisung admitted, his vulnerability a bridge connecting their souls. 

"scared of losing you."

minho reached out, his hand finding jisung's in the gentlest of clasps. 

"you won't lose me, jisung. who you are is what matters, not the labels. you're the same person i've laughed with, shared secrets with, and admired."

the weight of jisung's secret had been replaced by the buoyancy of acceptance. the night wrapped around them like a velvet cloak, stars twinkling as witnesses to this pivotal moment. jisung marveled at minho's wisdom, his ability to see beyond the confines of societal norms.

"you know," minho said, his voice a whisper,

"the moon we see isn't always whole. it goes through phases, waxing and waning, yet it's always the same moon. you're like that moon, jisung. your essence remains constant, beautiful in every phase."

jisung wiped away a tear, his heart aching with gratitude. he had bared his soul, and in return, minho had gifted him a constellation of understanding. their hands remained intertwined, a testament to the unbreakable bond forged in vulnerability.

as they sat there, beneath the canvas of the night sky, jisung realized that his journey of self-discovery wasn't a solo expedition. he had a companion, a confidant, and maybe even something more. minho's acceptance had illuminated a path of self-love, a journey towards embracing every facet of his identity.

the lake mirrored the stars above, a reflection of the beauty that existed both within and outside. jisung's heart, once a symphony of hidden notes, now played a melody of authenticity, resonating with the harmony of truth and acceptance.

he never thought he could do it, but he did.

--|--

im so sorry if this is shitty, it took me so long to write with all my studies in the way 😭 i swear this book has no plot BC IT WAS SO LAST MIN, my other ones will be much better planned out i promise 😞✊️