𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ( 𝐌𝐱𝐌 ) [ DARK ROMANCE ]

Chapter 30 | PHASE TWO: Numb

"Only those who care about you, can hear you when you're quiet."

"He wasn't sad anymore, he was numb and somehow he knew numb was worse."

Good luck. . .

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RAIDEN ||

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't going through the motions of the bond that I shared with Dylan.

Being an Alpha as all felines are given at birth, I had the strength to fight through the pain, but just because I was able to fight through it doesn't mean that I actually wanted to.

In truth, I wanted nothing more than to get into my car and drive to Dylan's pack, slap some sense into him and then embrace him the way that we both deserved.

"Than why don't you?" — Onyx interjects and I sigh.

"You know why, Onyx, I'm not ready to give into his temptation yet, he needs to learn what he's done is wrong, Dylan needs to feel just how broken I felt in those cells." — Turning my lip up at my Leopard, I stand up from my spot on the couch and head towards the kitchen.

I need a damn drink.

"No you do not, you need to stop that crap right now, Raiden, you can't just drink your problems away and you do realize that ignoring Dylan isn't fixing anything right?" — Onyx questions in all seriousness and I scoff, rolling my eyes at his attempt to be the voice of reason.

"I am the voice of reason in this situation that we've found ourselves in, Raiden. . . you're never going to get the answers or the apologies that you deserve without actually talking to Dylan, without actually allowing him to talk to you." — Onyx explains gently, his mannerisms showing just how soft he was trying to be with me.

I heard him, I really did but that was easier said than done. I can't just speak to Dylan with the way that I'm feeling right now. Everything was just too complicated and I knew if I spoke to him before I was ready, before I was emotionally stable, that I would end up snapping on him.

I didn't want to hate him. . . he's my blessing, the one the Sun God bestowed upon my life, the one who when all else failed would be there without a shadow of a doubt but I just couldn't do it.

These past two years since I've escaped Dax Kyles' tortuous Lab, I've worked so hard to try and rebuild my emotional and mental health.

Dad Kyles abused everything good that I'd ever known and no matter how much I tried to deny it, he still very much had a hold on me. . . that was painfully obvious during my panic attack in the bathroom last night.

After my shower, I ended up dropping my clippers on the floor and the sound of them hitting the tiled floor sounded just like the sounds of metal clanking against the caged bars that Dax Kyles used to keep the creatures he took ownership of — including me — and that sound alone, brought on a heart shattering panic attack.

I felt so trapped, weak, abused and beaten all over again, I felt like there was nothing that I could to stop it, to stop the pain. . .

Not wanting to see my reflection or be reminded of what Dax Kyles used to own, I broke my shower glass door, I shattered my bathroom mirror and I ran out of the bathroom, in search of something safe.

Anything — anyone safe and that's when Roman ran out of his bedroom with Hunter right behind him and my baby brother grabbed me.

I was so freaked out that it didn't register at that moment that it was Roman who grabbed me, I truly believed that it was Dax Kyles and that scared the shit out of me.