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I'm in the dark because this asshole tripped my power, but I see his silhouette and the shuffle of plastics. I was trying to distract my mind by watching a romance novel and it was working but the pain was inevitable.
I took my shower and changed into comfy clothing. His presence was unexpected. But I can't deny that my heart skipped a beat when the lights went out.
Only he can do that.
"Hey there, love." He said, his footsteps nearing the bed.
The lights snapped back on and I catch a glimpse of him. Grey sweats and grey hoodie.
"I thought you left." I whisper, my voice raspy. I cried in the shower until I felt dizzy because of him. "Were you crying?" He kicks his sneakers off and gets on the bed.
He reached his hand for me but I hit it away. "Don't touch me." I murmured.
He keeps his hands at bay but sits close. "I'm sorry." He says. "I didn't mean to—" I cut him off.
"You don't owe me an explanation." I breathe, "We're nothing." I don't know why my lungs restricted me, why my heartbeat dulled and my bloodstream cooled. Talking of us made me dull. I liked the idea of him, but I didn't like the reality of us. The fact that we are nothing.
Not friends, not lovers. Just two people who are sexually involved with each other. Thinking of it made my mothers words turn into my truth.
"Say that again, I dare you." His voice was hard and rough. "That's the truth, Zade." I sit up on my side so we're on the same face level. "Every time we're together all you think about is sex, sex and more sex. That is not a relation but just pure attraction built on the foundation of nothing."
His jaw clenched and unclenched. "What do you want then, Aia? You know I'll always give you what you want."
His question made me quiver in self-doubt and drown in insecurities.
You know I'll always give you what you want.
I don't know what I want.
I don't what to say I want him but my gut feeling tells me he will walk away from me. I don't want to say that I don't want him because I do.
"If you want us to date, we date, you want me to marry you, hell, I will not think twice." He extended his hand and held my cheek softly. "As long as it's with you." Zade knew many things and buttering me up was his biggest talent.
"I don't—"
"I do." He cut me off. "So can I?" He gave me those eyes again. "Just one chance, please."
I didn't like what this conversation curved into. He's asking for something I'm not applicable to. "I'm going away to Tokyo for a month." I try to changed the subject by clearing my throat.
"Why?" He asked. "I'm visiting my father..." I shuffle away from his hold. "Cool." He answered, "I got you something."
That's when he reaches for the plastic bags on the floor. "Burritos and some other things... also this..." he pulls out a cute, fluffy, brown teddy. "I noticed you like to hug your pillow to sleep every night so I thought—"
"How romantic." I say dryly. "Thanks."
"I love burritos." For the first time this night, I smile genuinely, taking the bag from him. "The teddy's cute."
He smiles. "Of cause."
We are fucking weird.
He just casually asked me for a chance and I changed the topic, he gave me a teddy and bought me the whole store.
My cramps were still there and hurt like shit but the smell of the burritos made my stomach want to grumble . "I also got this oil, my mother used it on me when I was little." He said, his voice softening.
This is when I realise that I know absolutely nothing about him or his family. When we were younger he seems to have a decent family. He lived in a beautiful white home. I know because we had a project together once. That was disastrous.
His mother was sweet to me but I never met his father. I remember she was pregnant at the time. I only noticed because she told me.
I wonder how that little thing is today. Did she give birth birth?
He unpacks everything he got for me while I withhold my questions. He takes two plush pillows and lays them behind me. "Lay back and eat. I'll give you a massage."
I don't raise any questions as I lay down and eat my burrito while while he pulls my sweat pants a little bit down to expose my lower stomach. My show starts playing again and I eat pain free and he rubs the oil over my skin and deepens his hands into my flesh a little.
It felt so good to feel his hands gliding and pressing to reduce my cramps.
Suddenly the show was better and the food tasted richer. The atmosphere was lighter and... I was happier.
He felt good. And it then, I suddenly realised that I wanted him just as bad.
He felt safe.
_
I hate this one with all my willpower, I js wanted to get it over and done with, I'm so sorry
I might have to move my updating date to Sundays so y'all get a better version of this story cos rn with exams... I'm loaded af😭
