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The next few days passed in blur of never-ending laughter, sex, happiness and even more more sex.
When nighttime came, he'd sneak me out of my room and take me on his motor bike, through the city and to our favourite spot. Somewhere mid town where you could see the brightest stars and moon clearer than ever. After that he takes me to his penthouse where he kisses me until my lungs feel like bursting. I'd lay awake at night and wait for him to swing by my window.
I felt like a teenager all over again, though this time I was living the truth.
I've never been happier, but the times where I had to leave him are the worst.
I stayed until morning this time, I couldn't bring myself to leave last night, I stayed over, slept in his bed and he cuddled me the whole night after claiming he didn't like people touching him while he is sleeping. I didn't touch him, I respected his boundaries but he clung onto the the whole night, saying something like "you make it go away".
He slept like a deceased man, he didn't let me go the whole night, even in the morning. It's cold in the mornings, and merging myself in his warm body made every thing in my life seemed less important. "I need to go before it gets too late..." I murmur in his chest. I hated having to sneak around. "Then go." He held me tighter.
I shake my head.
Laying like this with him is the best feeling, I don't think anything can ever top this. "You're so warm."
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My mind is never clear of destruction.
But having her in my arms made it all disappear, my thoughts of revenge and everything negative disappeared. I'm a person who never has more than three hours of sleep, but she made me comfortable enough to fall asleep for longer than my body allowed me. "Mhm-hmm." I hummed, I wanted to hold her while I sleep. She felt right.
"Zade, are you falling asleep?" She peaked her head out of my chest. My eyes were droopy but she shakes me awake. "Just ten minutes." I mumble.
Ten minutes turned into twenty, twenty minutes turned into one hour and an hour turned into four hours.
"Zade!" I gasp out of my tiredness when a frustrated female shouts my name. "It's eleven AM!" She sounded panicked as she put on her clothes. SpongeBob fluffy pants and a white tank top. I sat back and watched as she went into the bathroom and washed her face, she brushed her teeth and wet her hair.
She turned to me, "how the fuck is your skin clear as paper if you only use water and a three in one moisturiser?"
"I sweat a lot." I answer, "not because of heat." I add.
I stand up and approach her. "How are you so sexy when you just woke up?" I grin, and I didn't lie. She looked like she spent hours trying to look this perfect.
Pupils delated, eyes earthy brown, skin freckled and lips plump and pink. She looked so... doable.
"Zade, you're not funny." She said, "my parents probably know I'm not home by now." She groaned. "Now I have to come up with a silly lie."
"You're already late, might as well be late-er." She gives me a blank stare. "Get out before I shove you."
"I mean no harm, I just want my good morning handsome kiss." I shrug. I pull her hand to bring her into me, and her lips on me. I wrap my hands around her waist and pull her in. I can taste the mint on her breath and I kiss her harder.
I live for her kisses, soft gestures and sharp mouth.
This kiss wasn't sensual, it was slow, innocent and nostalgic.
I suck her lips into my mouth and brush her hair out of her face with my hand. "Have I told you how breathtaking you are?" I peck her lips once I let go. "Like twelve times yesterday." She nods. "I'll say it again." I smile, "You are ineffable."
"Thank you, Mr. Hernandez, but I need to get packing for tomorrow, I need to get going soon."
"I'll drop you off." I offer.
She nods and I peck her lips a few more times. I hate sneaking around, I don't even know why I had to lie, if I had spoken the truth from the beginning, I'd have her for longer.
If I just speak the truth, I'll have her for longer.
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Zade dropped me off, but he didn't come inside. Today is my last day here, and I don't want my father finding out that I lied and leave on bad terms.
"Oh, I went out walking and I found this cute little library so I sat down for a short read..."
He let me off the hook and told me to never do it again, I almost made him have a heart attack. It's the last day of our visit today, I feel so gloomy. I had the time of my life here.
Family brunches, spa dates, late night rides with Zade, bicycle rides on random afternoons, movie nights and teenage fever. Everything is better here. In Tokyo, with them. With him. Stress free and happy.
What if he starts ignoring when we return to New York?
What if he disappears again, God, I don't think I can live and breathe normally without him. I yearn for him, I fucking need him in my life. I won't take it well if he leaves me.
It makes my brows farrow and my eyes burn at the thought of him abandoning him, I feel so emotionally depended on him I can't think. Something told me he could do the most atrocious thing to me and I'd still forgive him in a heartbeat, as long he stays, I need him.
What kind of obsession is this? Since when am I attached to him? I fucking hated him, what happened to that?
It faded into something I can't describe. A feeling that swallowed me whole, a feeling that darkened my desires and highlighted my fears.
What did he do to me?
_
All my bitches with attachment issues check in here😝:
The rest of y'all I'll assume you're all normal🥰
Self criticism is real y'all, thinking they'll leave you for better people is a thought that no one deserves.
