In the end

Chapter 57

Daisy's POV:

I woke up this morning, no Jordan to be seen anywhere.
After yesterday I think he took the hint that it won't be a great idea to go and act normal after he told me that sex with me can withdrawal him away from me.
I still don't know what to think and I'm sat in my bed laying there staring at the sun lit ceiling for ages.

Emi didn't come back last night and I don't know where she stayed either but I'm alone with my thoughts once again.
The door to the cabin opens then closes and I don't bother to check who it is because I'm pretty sure it's emi.

'Heyyy!....oh' her voice goes from high pitched to low
I don't say anything to her since I'm pretty sure she can tell from Jordan not being here with me right now.
'Where's Jordan?' She slowly walks inside the room and scans the room hopefully trying to find Jordan creeping somewhere.
'He's not here' I say and rub my face
'Oh'
Something in me tells me that emi knew exactly why he's not here but is trying to keep it low-key so she doesn't go OTT.
'Are you ok?' She asks me and I nod in response
'I'm...fine' I say with a shrug.
Emi goes and sits on her bed and stares up at the ceiling im the same position I am right now.
'Where did you stay?' I ask, genuinely curious.
'I stayed at a friends cabin'
My silence gives my answer.
'So what happened?' She breaks the silence but I'm grateful she did because maybe talking about what happened last night with Jordan can make me understand what's up with him. Emi probably knows why Jordan is the way he is...I mean they are twins, right?

I explain everything to emi, bit by bit and even though it's weird how I just opened up about something like this to a person who I never trusted three days ago is crazy.
After I finish talking emi stays dead quiet.
Yeah the situation is pretty messy but the silence is really digging nails in my head.

'That's typical Jordan for you' emi says after a few seconds of not talking.
'What do you mean?' I ask, looking towards her from my side.
'Jordan is too kind to ever break someone's heart, but he has attachment issues so he ends up breaking hearts anyway'
'I'm still so confused' i don't want to sound dumb but I need answers and him having attachment issues really doesn't give an answer to any of my overthinking.
Emi sighs.
'Jordan wasn't always like this. He used to be in a relationship long time ago but the girl broke his heart super bad which kind of triggered him to never have faith in love again'
I think about all the things he said to me yesterday and it all starts to add up why he thinks emotionless sex is better than romantic sex.
'He started going out with other girls two years after his breakup but he still felt numb to feelings. I could tell because whenever a girl would come to our house and he would introduce her to our mother, you would think it's actually serious but then a few days later the girl was gone and he would act like they never existed'
All this information is really digging into my brain and I don't know wether to feel bad for Jordan or to be upset with him. He obviously wouldn't have chosen to feel like this towards girls but also using other girls that like you to feed into your pleasure is not an excuse, but at the same time I get him.
'There was this one time where a girl that Jordan was seeing back then totally lost it with him and came to our house and started trashing the whole place up because she was a catholic and expected to be something with Jordan after losing her virginity to him, but obviously Jordan just left soon after he got what he wanted, my mother was so mad at Jordan that she even donated a bunch of funds to the church the girls family owned. I mean her father was a fucking pastor for gods sake'
The way emi talks about Jordan sounds like she's trashing him but at the same time I'm grateful she's telling all the truth on how it was.
I feel super bad for the girl that emi is talking about, I can't imagine how it felt to be left behind like trash after losing the thing you've been saving up for marriage just gone like that in one night. She must've really thought Jordan was the one.
However I don't understand why he didn't do the same to me? It's clear he's unable to catch any feelings for someone, so why did he choose to not put me through that. He claimed he cares about me but I don't know if it's pity or if he actually genuinely cares.
Either way he didn't do anything with me knowing that he's unable to catch any feelings after sex which somehow made me see him in a different way than I should see him at the moment.