JENLISA | ANGUISH |

Chapter 7 - Haze

I didn't return to the waiting room until it was time for the rehearsals. I go inside to grab my phone. Just when i was about to turn around and leave, my phone rang. Looking at the caller ID I answer. "Hey mom." I smile.

"Lala, just want to ask what time you're arriving home?"

Remembering that I have a change of schedule. "I'm sorry mom. There has been a change of plans. Instead of arriving on Tuesday, I'll be home on Thursday." Sitting down on the sofa rubbing my temple. Feeling a headache coming.

"Oh." I can hear sadness in her voice. "That's a shame. The family was planning to have dinner on the day you were supposed to arrive."

"I'm really sorry mom, I would love nothing more than to be home right now." Hanging my head on the back of the sofa and closing my eyes.

"It's okay. We can just move the dinner plans to when you arrive."

"Thank you for understanding. When I can finalize my vacation days I promise to do everything you want to do." I hear her laughing.

"Okay, I'll take you up on that."

"I have to go. We're heading to rehearsal. I love you mom."

"I love you too. Bye sweetie." She hangs up.

Standing up I notice almost all of the staff have gone. "Why are you not going to Thailand?" Jisoo unnie asks.

Letting the eavesdropping go I answer. "I got a last minute invitation from Celine." Knowing who else is invited, I take a glance at her. She avoids eye contact. "Let's head to rehearsal."

"Wait." Jisoo unnie says while catching my wrist. "Lisa-ya, we should all probably talk."

Sighing I say. "Not now please. We'll talk when I'm ready." Frustrated and angry now. I walked out and never looked back not even to see if they were following.

***

I performed the rehearsals and the concert like a robot. It was unforgivable. Now at the end of the show saying goodbye to the Blinks, I bowed to convey how sorry I am. They didn't deserve that from me. Coming down the stage feeling angry and upset I feel my legs about to give out so I quickly find a chair. Calling for Alice to tell her what's happening. Jennie unnie intercepts my line of vision.

"Are you okay?" She asks sincerely.

Anger and frustration clouding my head I answer snidely without thinking. "I'm peachy." Looking her straight in the eye.

"Hey, Lisa don't be like that." Jisoo unnie scolds.

Ignoring them I look for Alice. Spotting her with the other staff hanging at a distance giving us space. Sighing. "Look, I told you we'll talk when I'm ready. I'm in a shitty mood right now and talking will just make it worse." Feeling my hands shaking badly.

Standing up to walk away, Jennie unnie grabs my hand. I quickly shake it off. "Don't." I warn.

Hurt flashes across her face. "I know you're angry."

I scoff. "That's an understatement of what I'm feeling in the past few days."

"Be angry at me. It's all my fault. I told them not to tell you because I was gonna tell you myself."

Not registering anything after that. I look at Jisoo unnie and Chaeyoung, they avoid my eyes. "Wait..." Still can't believe what I heard. "You knew?"

Jennie realizing her mistake. "Damn it."

I realized that Jisoo unnie and Chaeyoung knew my feelings for Jennie unnie but I never thought they were keeping that big of a secret from me. Keeping me in the dark.

"How long have you both known?"

Jennie unnie answers for them. "I told them a few months after me and oppa got together."

Looking her dead in the eyes. "How long exactly?"

Knowing what I really meant. "Almost 2 years now."

Quickly wiping my tears and turning around. "I've heard enough."

"I'm sorry Lisa-ya." She says

I turn back at her angrily. "You had all that time to tell me. That dinner in Abu Dhabi, you could have spared me from all of this! Did you even notice this?" I show her my hands that are shaking badly. "It's been happening since I saw that article." A look of surprise on her face. "Of course you didn't!"

Things happened so fast. The next thing I notice are the girls screaming.

"Oh my god!"

"Lisa-ya!"

It was Alice who brought me back from the haze. "Lisa, it's okay. You're okay." I realize that she's clutching my right hand with a towel.

"What's happening?" I look around. The staff are shocked. I look back to see a shattered mirror and drops of blood. What have I done?

Taking the towel from Alice and putting pressure on my wound. I turn to all the staff. "I'm so sorry." I bow to apologize, not standing up until I finish what I have to say. "I'll pay for the damage I've caused and I promise to never let this happen again. If anyone wants to report this back to management I won't object."

Standing straight I face the girls. Chaeyoung is crying. I can't read Jisoo unnie, maybe she's angry. I definitely deserve it. When I glance at Jennie unnie she's looking at my hand, not giving it another thought. I bow to the three of them. "I'm sorry."

Then I walked out on them for the second time today.