JENLISA | ANGUISH |

Chapter 30 - Don't

The last thing I remember was Fred and I were drinking and laughing while we read the comments on our video. I don't even know how I got on my bed or where Fred is now. If he was still here and just sleeping on the couch or if he went home.

But the million dollar question is why is Jennie unnie sleeping in my room?

I carefully rise from the bed with my feet dangling on the side. I scan the area for Fred but he's nowhere to be found. Did he let unnie in?

Looking back at unnie, I sigh. Why is she sleeping on the chair uncomfortably when she has a room to herself? Or she could've slept on the couch. The bed was even large enough for the both of us.

"Unnie." I call softly. She doesn't hear me. "Unnie." A little louder this time. Nothing. I don't want to call louder because she scares so easily. Deciding to just lean over and shake her gently. I call again. "Jennie unnie."

She stirs but doesn't wake up. Leaning a little bit more. "Nini."

Finally, she opens her eyes. Realizing I was so close to her that I could clearly see her beautiful brown eyes staring at me, I quickly back away.

"Come on unnie, you should sleep on the bed." I stand up and grab her hand to help her move to the bed. As I finish tucking her in I say. "Goodnight unnie."

As I was about to turn around and head to the couch, she grabs my hand. "Wait. Where are you going?"

"Oh, uhmm." I point to the couch. "I'll just sleep there."

"The bed's big enough for the both of us." What the.. It's like she read my mind earlier. I was about to decline the offer. "Please. This is your room, you should sleep on the bed."

I was debating whether it's a good idea to sleep together but seeing me hesitate she removes the duvet. "Let me take the couch then."

I stop her. "Okay. I'll sleep here." I say. I head over to the other side of the bed. She waits for me to get settled before laying down again.

Since I don't want to be rude and turn my back on her, I lay here flat on my back just staring at the ceiling. It's quiet for a few minutes now. Thinking she was already asleep I relax a little. I let out a breath releasing the tension in my body.

"Lisa-ya."

I gasp putting a hand over my chest. "Oh my god. I thought you were already asleep unnie." I turn my head to look at her.

She's smiling. "I'm sorry if I scared you." She says chuckling.

I follow suit. She's laying on her side facing me. When the laughter died down she says. "I heard that the Eiffel tower will have a fireworks show tomorrow. Would you like to watch it together?" I don't answer. "I could ask the others if you like." She adds.

I shake my head. "No, it's not that. It's just, me and Fred already made plans to watch it together."

"Oh.." She looks away. "Are the two of you.." She lifts her head and faces me. "dating?"

And there it is. I was wondering when she'll bring it up. It was kind of weird that the three of them didn't bombard me with questions when the video came out. I was kind of relieved to be honest so I let it go.

Earlier, when Fred and I were already tipsy from the wine he asked if the girls already saw the video. I said I don't think so, since they haven't called or texted yet.

He smirks. "We could pretend to be a couple and make Jennie jealous."

"Absolutely not." I say.

"Why not?" He asks childishly. Pouting his lips.

"Fist of all, ew!" Putting my hand on his face. "Don't ever do that again. Second of all, it's not worth it because it won't work. So, no."

Going back to the present, I'm actually tempted to do what Fred suggested but I remind myself that it isn't worth it. So I answer her honestly. "It was us on the video." Recalling the comments, they were not sure if it was really him. "We were there having dinner with our friends." I turn my head to face her but quickly look away. She's looking at me with such intensity, why? "Fred and I are close but not that close." I laugh.

"So you're not.."

"No." Not anymore, I thought.

"Okay." She closes her eyes. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." I say nonchalantly.

"Promise me, you'll answer it." She still has her eyes closed.

Just thinking nothing of it, I answer. "I promise."

She opens her eyes when she got the answer she wanted. Looking me straight in the eyes she asks so soflty. "Do you still have feelings for me?"

I freeze. I must've heard her wrong. "Wha- what?"

She moves a little closer. "Do you still have feelings for me?" Saying it clearly this time.

Why is she asking me this? "The answer doesn't matter because it won't change anything. You're still in a relationship so why bother asking."

"Will you answer if I said we broke up?"

I feel my heart stop. I don't speak. I don't move. I don't breathe. Feeling the lack of air, I push the duvet off of me. "Lisa-ya." I ignore her. I think she's following me. Quickly opening the balcony door I suck in a lungful of air.

I feel her behind me but I don't say anything. Maybe this is just a dream. If we both stay silent for a while this dream will end.

"This is real." Damn it, did I say that out loud? She moves closer so we are now facing each other. "What I said earlier is also real."

"Why- why are you telling me this?" I ask in disbelief.

"That time at cafe when we ran into each other was the first time I was jealous. I was jealous and angry when you said you liked him." She takes a step closer. "I was miserable all the time you were ignoring me. I miss you." Another step. "I miss spending time with you. And when I saw that video, I prayed for it not to be true and that you still haven't moved on."

She was about to take another step but I raised my hand to stop her.

-Jennie-

She takes a step back. "Don't." She says closing her eyes.

"Don't what?" I ask softly. She still has her eyes closed so I watch her face carefully. My heart broke when I saw tears running down her face.

"Don't give me hope." She says, voice broken by holding back her tears.

I feel my own tears slide down my face. I don't deserve her but I'm willing to spend my whole life proving to her that I am. If she'll let me.

I wipe my tears. "Lisa, look at me." When she doesn't, I move closer. Bodies almost touching. I lift my hands, carefully holding her face. "Lisa-ya." I say softly.

"I lo.." I stop. My initial reaction would have been to make her believe that my feelings for her are genuine but for everything that I put her through I understand that she'll need time.

"How about we continue this talk for another time?" She doesn't answer. "For now, I'm going back to my room and give you some space." I wipe her tears away.

She still has her eyes closed so she doesn't see me reaching in to kiss her cheek. Surprised, she finally opens them. With my hand still on her face, I rub my thumb affectionately on her cheek.

"I'm going to fix this, fix us." I promised. "Go back to sleep okay? I'll see you again at breakfast." I smile at her before turning around.

I lean my back against the door as soon as I closed it. I close my eyes as I breathe in and out for a minute.

It's ironic that I'm thinking of a song that is so fitting for my situation right now and it's one of my ex's.

You were there for me through all the times I cried
I was there for you but then I lost my mind
I know that I messed up but I promise I
Oh oh, I can make it right
-Make it right- BTS feat. Lauv

Note: I changed Haein's name to Bohyun in this story. So it's Jisoo*Bohyun from now on.