JENLISA | ANGUISH |

Chapter 13 - Oppa

I just arrived in Thailand then heading straight to the venue for the sound check. My phone vibrates, checking it, Lisa finally replied.

'No problem.'

That's it? It took her eleven hours to text back and that's the only thing she could come up with? She didn't even mention the promise she broke. That night she promised to stay with me but she was gone when I woke up. In all the years I've known her not once did she ever break a promise to me.

I know I don't have the right to be angry at her. It's my fault that she's angry and heartbroken all over again. Would telling her then at Abu Dhabi be less painful?

Deep down I know the only answer to my question. She wouldn't be angry like this if I was the one who told her personally. What's worst is the public knew before she did. If I was in her shoes I'd be angry at me too.

Sighing I close my eyes. Now in the car on my way to the concert hall, I don't know what to feel. I just spent the entire flight here with my boyfriend but in those eleven hours I've also thought of that night in Lisa's room. Feeling hurt that she's hurting because of the situation I put her in. And wondering if this will be the end of our friendship. I suddenly open my eyes.

NO! I don't want that. Working together then not talk to each other, I don't want our relationship to be like that indefinitely. Lisa's an important person in my life.  I promise myself that I'll do everything to earn her forgiveness.

***

As I enter our waiting room I see Jisoo unnie and Rosie posie at the make-up area. I look around for for the person I wanted to make amends with, I see her on the couch laying down sleeping. I head to where unnie is and asked. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's just tired. She had a fan meeting yesterday then a family gathering after so she's short on sleep."

"She volunteered to get her hair and make-up done first so she could rest a little." Rosie added.

"Did she.." Hesistant to ask but I powered through. "Did she ask or mention me by any chance?"

They looked at each other then at me and shook their heads. I sigh. "Will she ever forgive me?" Feeling a lump in my throat.

Rosie turns her chair around and holds my hand. "It may take a while unnie but I know she will. She lov.." She stops herself from finishing it. "I'm sorry unnie."

"It's okay but I doubt that'll help me in this situation I got myself into." I smile sadly. "I haven't said I'm sorry to both of you, for the mess I put you through."

"It's okay Jendeuk, she already forgave us. She'll forgive you too." She smiles at me.

"I hope so." I smile back. "I'll go take a seat while waiting for my turn." They nod.

I head to the snack bar and pick something to eat and take the single couch next to where Lisa is sleeping. I'm sitting by her head so I can see her face. Her expression is so peaceful and free from the pain I am putting her through. I miss talking to her. The little squabbles the four of us get into when we're together, the joking around. I miss all of it. I miss her.

Her phone rings. She reaches on the table blindly looking for it. After a few taps on the table she finally grabs it. "Hello?" She answers without opening her eyes. "Oppa?" She pauses listening to the person on the other line. "I'm sleeping right now. It's okay I think it's about time to do the sound check anyway." She answers in her sleepy voice.

I wonder who she's talking to.

"I would actually like that but I'll have to see what my schedule is when I return home. I'll let you know as soon as I check it." She says happily.

Suddenly I feel jealousy rise up inside me. Jealous to the person she's talking sweetly to. In the past week, the times we've conversed was when she was angry and hurt.

"Okay. I'll see you soon oppa. Bye." She puts her phone down and stretches. She's still closing her eyes so she still doesn't see me. Finally she sits up and notices me. She freezes.

"Hi." I say softly.

She seems puzzled at why I was talking to her. She looks away but answers. "Hi."

That's it. No smile. No how are you? Nothing. So I try to get something more from her. "Who were you talking to?"

She doesn't answer right away. I thought I had made her angry again. She took a deep breath. I see her expression change from blank to an easy smile. "It was Bogum oppa."

After answering she excused herself and stood up heading to the bathroom.

I don't know what I'm feeling right now. At first it was jealousy at who she was smiling for and now, angry at knowing who it is. Park Bogum, who likes Lisa and she's going to spend time with when returning home.

I'm just jealous because I want to be able to talk to Lisa like that again. Like how we were before.

That's what I keep telling myself.