JENLISA | ANGUISH |

Chapter 21 - A Thought

The Sydney concert finished without a hitch. On stage we looked like a team, we sang, danced and interacted with each other. On it, Lisa and I could talk and laugh together like there is nothing wrong between us. But once we're off stage she mostly avoids me. She talks to me if I initiate a conversation with her or only if she has to, she smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes like it used to. Her eyes, her once expressive eyes are now empty of emotion. I feel like I'm talking to a doll. A lifeless, smiling doll.

And I hate it.

Now, we are in the airport lounge waiting for our plane to be ready. The four of us in one table and the rest of the staff on the other. Jisoo unnie as usual is on her phone playing games. Rosie and Lisa are talking and laughing together. Seeing that, made me wish that I was Rosie. That it was me making her laugh or smile. I put my hand on my chest feeling it ache. Breathing in and out slowly to make it go away. I look away from them, like it will make my heart better. It did not.

I scoot closer to Jisoo unnie and put my head on her shoulder closing my eyes. "What will you do when we get home unnie?"

"Hmmm." She hums, acting like she still hasn't decided but I already know what her answer will be. "You know me.." With that I lift my head from her shoulder and look at her smiling. I do know. "I'm going straight home and be alone because I'm tired of seeing your faces."

I laugh. I also hear the two laughing across from us. "Aww. We all know that's not true. How could you get tired of these cute faces." Says Rosie. We both look at them making cute cringey faces at unnie.

Unnie doubles over and fake vomits. The three of us chuckles. "You know you love it." Lisa chimes in. Jisoo unnie straightens and joins us laughing.

When the laughter dies down Rosie asks. "How about you unnie? What will you do?"

"I'm actually going to the Bruno Mars concert." I say.

She gasps. "Really? Me too." She says excitedly. "We can go together if you like."

"Yeah, I'd like that. I'm going with Hyunji." I purposely said that to see if I could elicit some reaction from her. Nothing. She's on her phone, not paying attention to our conversation. 

"I'm going with Ashley unnie but we'll meet at the venue." I nod. "Text me when you're done changing so I can let manager oppa pick us up."

"Sounds like a plan." I smile at her.

Rosie nudges Lisa with her elbow. "You going to the concert?" 

Lisa looks up at Rosie. "I am." 

Before Rosie could, I ask her. "Do you want to come with us?" Her gaze flicks to me for a second then back at Rosie. 

"I can't." 

"Lisa-ya.." Jisoo unnie interjects still listening to our conversation. "You can't just avoid Jennie forever."

Shocked by that, I squeezed unnie's hand under the table. When she looks at me I shake my head slightly telling her not to go there. Our table suddenly became silent that you could hear a pin drop. When we look back at Lisa, the expression on her face was so obvious. She was hurt by what Jisoo unnie said. 

Realizing her mistake she hurriedly try to apologize but Lisa spoke first. Tone flat and cold. "Right, that's definitely what I'm doing. I'm so petty by not going together because I'm avoiding Jennie unnie." She looks at unnie dead in the eyes. "You didn't even ask why." She shakes her head at her and looks away.

Lisa didn't say anything for a few seconds while the three of us were too stunned to speak. She tilts her head towards the ceiling. I see her throat bobs up and down, she's trying not to cry.

"Damn it!" She angrily wipes a stray tear. "Not that anyone asked, I can't go together because I'm going to the (G)I-DLE show first to support Minnie and the girls. That's why I'm going to be late for the Bruno Mars concert." She stands from the couch she shares with Rosie and says. "Excuse me, I need a drink."

"Lisa-ya.." Rosie says trying to grab her hand but Lisa was too quick. We all look at her walk away from us.

"I.." Jisoo unnie stammers. "I made her cry." Still couldn't believe what had just transpired. "Fuck! I need to apologize." She was about to stand but I stop her.

"I think you should let her cool down first unnie." Rosie says. "I'll go and keep her company." She offers. 

I nod at her. "Go." I look at her conveying my thoughts to her silently. I know I don't have the right to but please take care of her for me. She must have understood as she nods at me. Jisoo unnie and me both looks at Rosie as she approaches Lisa. Releasing a relieved sigh as Lisa lets her sit with her at the bar.

"I should have just kept my mouth shut or just asked her why first." Her voice breaking. 

I put my arm around her shoulder. "Just give her time unnie, she'll forgive you eventually."

She puts her head on my shoulder and sighs. "She'll forgive you too, eventually." 

That's a nice thought...

***

Taehyung oppa was also at the concert. Since we can't go together he went with his friends and I went with mine. After the show, we all planned to go and have a late dinner. We are all cramped in Taehyung oppa's van with his manager driving us. 

But before we drove out the basement parking lot I see her. She has her hat on but I still recognize her, it's Lisa. I keep my eyes on her as the van slowly pass her by.

"Oh! Isn't that Bogum hyung?" Taehyung oppa yelled. 

What? I look beside her, just seeing him now. I have so many question but no one to ask. 'Did they just coincidentally saw each other at the concert?' or 'Did they came together to watch?' I prefer the former but it still pisses me off that she's with him. 

"Who's that with him?" Seojun oppa asks.

"That's Lisa." Taehyung oppa answers him. "Wow." He says, amazed. "Things must have gone the right way that night we saw them huh?" He says to me softly as to not let the others hear.

"Are they dating?" Wooshik oppa asks me. 

My immediate answer would have been 'of course not, she's mine!' Thankfully, I didn't say that out loud. "I actually don't know." I reply as we pass them by.

I keep looking until they were out of my sight. I feel that ache again. I rub my chest hoping that it will ease the pain I'm feeling. It doesn't.

I feel Taehyung oppa hold my hand and put it in his lap. I look at him as he plays with my fingers. "Did you enjoy the concert?" His voice low, just for me to hear.

I look at him, really look. Hoping to feel all that I felt when we first started dating. Giddy at our dates, excited about seeing each other again after a while, light headed when he's near me and weak at the knees every time he kisses me but nothing comes. 

I remember Lisa's lips and that's enough to make my neck tingle, my breath lodged somewhere in my throat as time seems to slow down as I relive it in my mind. A thought comes out of nowhere, like an unforeseen slap in the face.

I'm inlove with Lisa Manoban. 

Note: I hear you guys but I think it's too late to introduce chaesoo as a couple now since I've already introduced them individually. But fret not because I might write a separate story for them. No promises though!

Hope you like this chapter! 😉