JENLISA | ANGUISH |

Chapter 19 - Done

I'm kissing Lisa. Her lips so soft pressed against mine. She's frozen still. I wanted her to react so i pressed my lips to hers a little harder. I got what I wanted and more. I feel her hands on my hips pulling me to her. Now our bodies are flushed together. And the moment her lips moved against mine, I got goosebumps all over my body.

Oh god... How can a kiss feel this good? It's like electricity is constantly running through my body. It's not like this when oppa and I kiss. One of her hands slowly crept up to my nape, caressing the base of my throat with her thumb. A moan escaped me before I could stop it.

This woke her up from her stupor. Opening her eyes, she gets a hold of my hands that was holding her face and pushes me off of her. Just enough so our bodies are not touching anymore. Disbelief is etched on her face. She's looking at my face trying to comprehend what had just happened. Not getting any answers from it. She asks.

"Why?" She swallows a lump on her throat. "Why did you do that?"

I wasn't ready for that question and before I could think it through I blurted.

"I... I don't know."

Instantly, I regretted saying it. Her expression changed from hopeful to devoid of emotion the second I said it. She drops my hands and walked out of my reach.

"Lisa, wait. Please let me expla-"

"You don't know? Then you shouldn't have done it in the first place!" She yelled. "You had no right playing with my feelings like that. It's like you ripped my heart out of my chest just to throw it away like a grenade." She turns around to try and hide her tears from me.

I'm frozen angry at myself. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I just made everything worse but I still wanted to explain or to talk this through so we could figure it out together.

"Lisa-ya." I plead.

"I can't do this anymore." She declares.

This was the moment I knew that I messed up. I should have told her the truth that my feelings for her confused me but that kiss made it clear. Instead of saying 'I don't know' I should have said 'I like you'. But now, it's too late.

"I'm done." She says defeatedly. She's on the opposite side of the room with her back to me. "I'm done putting you first. I'm done feeling sorry for myself."

She turns back to me and looks me in the eyes. "I'm done pining over a woman who doesn't feel the same way I do."

Is this how she felt when she saw the article of me and him? My chest hurts. We haven't even started anything but why does it feel like we're breaking up?

I didn't know I was crying until she looked away from me. I know this is a selfish thought but whenever I cried when she's nearby she used to wipe it away for me.

"I need you to go, unnie." She says as she heads to the bathroom. "I want you gone by the time I finish here." She closes the bathroom door without even sparing me a glance.

Leaving me no choice I walk to the door. Willing myself not to burst out crying until I got to my room. Reaching my room, I swipe my key card a few times but it wouldn't go through.

"Please, please, please." I plead, holding back my tears. "Damn it!" The key card won't work. I couldn't hold it anymore. Crying, I pressed my forehead on the doorframe.

I hear someone opening the door from the inside.

"Jennie? What happened?" Alison quickly pulls me inside and hugs me.

Once the door closed I sobbed. Alison wraps her arms tighter around me.

"It's okay, let it all out." She soothes.

The next thing I know, I'm on my bed. I look around and find Alison on the couch watching TV. I make my way to her. She sits up when she notices me.

"Hey." She says softly reaching for my hand and pulling me down to sit with her. She brushes my hair back so she can see my face properly.

"Why were you in my room?"

"I came by to bring you food but when I got here you were gone."

Thank god she did or I would have broken down in the hallway.

"What happened?" She asks.

I don't even know where to begin. "I.." I hesitate. "I kissed Lisa."

Shock plastered on her face at my statement. "You what?"

"I kissed her and now she hates me." I answer.

"Wait, how about you start from the beginning so I can understand?"

"Okay. You said earlier that I wasn't in the mood all day." She nods at me to continue. "It was because I was bothered that she didn't visit me at the hospital."

"She did visit. Right after the concert." She said sympathetically.

"You knew?" I ask in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry but she asked me to." She says. "That night when I was on my way back to your room I saw her closing your door and I thought she had already been inside to see you."

-Alison-

"Lisa-ya." I called out when she was about to walk the opposite way. I make my way to her.

"Hey, Ali." She says softly.

"Hey, you going already? Is Jennie sleeping?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "She's a little busy and I didn't want to disturb her."

"What? She doesn't know you're here?" I grab her hand and try to pull her towards the room but she won't budge. I look back at her.

She smiles sadly shaking hear head. "I can't Ali."

I was about to ask her why but she continued. "Can you do me a favor?" I nod. "Don't tell her I came by." She says as she hands me the fruit basket.

Bewildered I just watched her walk away. The moment I was inside the room I instantly knew why she didn't come in. Jennie is talking to Taehyung.

I felt sorry for Lisa as I closed the door.

-End-

"Damn it!" I say frustratingly. "When she asked why I did it I couldn't answer her."

"She'll come around." She says optimistically.

"You didn't hear her say she can't do it anymore, I think this time our relationship is beyond repair."

"Are you okay with that?" She asks.

No. I'm not okay with it but I have to be, until I can decide on what to do next.

The morning after, I sent a message to our group chat.

"Is anyone up yet? I heading down for breakfast. Who wants to come with?" I instantly recieved a reply.

"Me!" I smile. Rosie wouldn't pass up a chance to eat.

"I'm about to go out of my room so hurry up people!" Unnie replies.

Nothing from her...

As soon as I open my door I see unnie and Rosie heading my way.

"Good morning unnie." Rosie says as she gives me a hug. "Come on I'm starving!" She skips to the elevator leaving me and unnie to walk.

When we're on the elevator Jisoo unnie asks a question that I couldn't dare ask them.

"What about Lisa?"

"Oh, you guys don't know?" She looks at us surprised. "She's on her way to Perth to see the quokkas."

The avoiding game has started.