JENLISA | ANGUISH |

Chapter 27 - Rumors

There are rumors that have been going around since our contract with YG is about to expire. An insider said that Jisoo unnie, Rosie and I's contract negotiations are going smoothly and Lisa's isn't. And that the 3 of us and the company already have a done deal.

They are saying that Lisa might not renew again and will branch off on her own. When I read the comments on this article I wanted to punch every single person who talked shit about Lisa.

'Let the foreigner go.' 'They don't need her.' 'Every talent agency should stop letting foreigners be in a k-pop group.' 'She's ugly anyway, they should be relieved.' There's plenty more where that came from.

I stopped reading those ridiculous articles and comments. The truth is, the four of us are still negotiating our contracts with YG. It's just taking so long because we want it on our terms. Like we want to be included on the final decisions about the songs we want released, the shows we want to be in, concepts we will use, collaborations other artists ask us and many more.

This time we want more say in everything we do and I think we deserve it. The girls and I worked our asses off for thirteen years now and we just want what's best for the company and the fans but especially what's best for us. That's why it's taking more time than all of us anticipated.

Jisoo unnie, Rosie, Lisa and I had a talk about these years ago that if one of us is not satisfied with their contract negotiations then none of us will sign again. I know it's a bit presumptuous of us to think that the company will do everything to get us to sign again but I know we've done what was expected of us and so much more.

Not to sound cocky but they need us. In the end, they'll have to agree to our conditions for the renewal or they'll lose us.

It's all of us or nothing. That is our ultimatum.

***

Tonight, I have another big decision to make. I called Taehyung oppa earlier asking if we could talk in person. Not knowing anything he agreed.

I've been a nervous wreck all day. Tonight, I'm going to end things between Taehyung oppa and me. I don't know how he'll take it. Will he be angry? Well, it'll be justified for what I'm about to do.

And just because I'm the one breaking things off doesn't mean it'll be easy for me. No, it'll be harder. The last thing I want to do is hurt him but if I prolong the inevitable it'll be more painful for both of us. Breaking up will never be easy.

I declined oppa's offer of picking me up so I drove to Han river by myself. We had dates here before. Always past midnight though to avoid being seen.

When I parked I immediately spotted oppa's car. I turn off the engine and make my way to his car.

"Hey." He greets me softly as I close the door.

"Hi oppa." I reply as I face him but it was a mistake. Before I realized he was leaning towards me it was already too late. I feel his lips on mine. I tried my best not to flinch, he noticed but just brushed it off.

"So, what do you want to do first? We could go grab some food or take a stroll by the river?" He asks.

I feel myself go numb. I don't know how to do this. I don't know where to start.

Then suddenly, Lisa's beautiful face flashes on my mind. The ghost of her lips brings tingles to mine, slowly it brings me back to the present.

I need to do this for her. For us, hopefully.

"Oppa, I- I think we should break up." I don't look at him while I say it, dreading his reaction but nothing comes. I can only hear the soft purr of the engine.

Forcing myself to look up, he's just looking at me in disbelief. I can't take the intensity in his eyes so I look away.

"W-why? Did I do something wrong?" He asks.

I quickly grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. "No!" I say a little too loud. "No, you didn't do anything wrong oppa." More softly this time.

"Then why Jennie? I thought things were doing great between us." He holds my hand between both of his.

I don't know what to say to that so I tell him the truth. "I- I kissed someone." I feel him let go of my hand so I pull it back to my lap. "I'm sorry oppa."

"Who was it?" He asks sternly.

I look up hearing the tone in his voice. He never spoke to me like this before. Even when we fought he never raised his voice or used this tone.

Feeling a little scared I scooted back to my seat so my back was touching the door to put some space  between us. He must've realized what he had done, the expression on his face softens. "I'm sorry Jennie. I didn't mean to scare you."

I just nod not knowing what to say. We stayed silent for a minute before he spoke again.

"Do you have feelings for him?" He asks.

"Him?"

"The person you kissed. Do you have feelings for him?"

"Oh." Right. He doesn't need to know it's a her. "Yes. I have feelings for that person."

I continue. "I know this isn't what you want to hear but you deserve the truth. I loved you and I always will but.." I pause.

"But you love someone else now." He finishes my thoughts.

I feel my tears slide down my face. I wipe them quickly because I don't have the right to be crying right now when I'm the one doing the hurting.

Rain starts to pour down. The heavens must have been listening to my heart. I know this is the right thing to do, but it still hurts. Deciding to end a relationship that gave me a lot of precious memories is a lot more painful than I had expected.

Breaking the silence I say. "I was happy being your girlfriend oppa." I say sincerely. "You deserve so much better than this." I don't wait for him to say anything back, I pull the handle and exit his car.

I ran to my car and never looked back. Soaked to the bone due to the rain I hurriedly turned my car then the heater on.

I don't need to break down now since I still need to drive so I hold onto my emotion just until I'm home safely.

Finally, for what seemed like eternity I made it home. Drained and soaked I head to my room to shower. While taking my wet clothes off I hear my phone buzzing. I dug it out of my purse frowning at the number of missed calls and texts from Jisoo unnie, Rosie and even Alison.

I wonder what happened. Deciding it can wait for a few minutes I shower first to avoid being sick.

Now feeling a little better, I grab my phone and read the texts first. The first text I read is from Jisoo unnie.

'There's an article about Lisa. I suggest you don't open anything connected to the internet but I know you. You'll do exactly the opposite of what I said so just don't jump to conclusions yet. We'll ask her about it. Call me when you get this!'

She really does know me. The second I read the last word of her text I opened my browser. I regretted it immediately.

'Is Lisa of BLACKPINK dating CEO Frederic Arnault?'

Below it was a video of them at a restaurant.

Was this what she felt when she saw me and Taehyung oppa? I feel like someone just shot my heart out off my chest. With all that happened tonight and now this, I couldn't take it anymore so I let the tears I'm holding on go..

Was I too late?

Note: When I imagine the conversations in my head, I do it in korean. It sounded so gentle and soft but when I translate it in english it just ruins the vibe. Hahaha

I know there aren't any news yet about the contract renewals this is just me being hopeful. 😅

Finally, the break up. And don't worry it will not be the last time you'll see of Taehyung. 😉