Stay With Me || H.S

43

 I had expected Harry to be hot on my heels the second I left the room, but I'm sure the scare of me forgetting my pill is more than enough to have him keep his distance for a few hours. If I had known that from the beginning, maybe we could have spared both of us this stupid ordeal. My subconscious purrs and I try my best ignore the accuracy if it's constant intrusion. No matter how fucking hard I try, my insecurities won't leave me alone. I know it's not supposed to be easy, but for once I wish it was. I like to think Harry had a lot to do with me getting to this point at all, but the rest is up to me, and the way things are going, it doesn't look like i'm making any progress. In fact, I feel like i'm taking one step forward and like a thousand steps back.

It's easy to blame it all on James and my father, but part of it is my fault too because I keep letting myself fall back into that dark void filled with the voices of my insecurities. I reach the foot of the stairs, and take a moment to recompose myself from the struggling argument in my head, when I hear Anne ask, "Is there any possibility of him getting out?"

Her voice is small and filled with heartache, and I involuntarily place my hand over my chest, feeling my heart tighten with hers.

"No, there's no way – his partners have all given more than enough in their statements to have him locked up for life just to saves their own hides"

A man – who I assume is the detective – replies, before I come out from behind the wall and everyone – except Gemma who is nowhere to be seen – looks at me. I give my mom and Anne a small smile, before turning to look at the detective – Mr. Tasler – of course.

"Miss Monroe" he stands and extends his hand out to me, I take it and we shake before I sit beside my mother.

"What is it we have to talk about?" I sigh interrupting him before he even begins.

"Lana" my mother places a hand on my leg and wills me to behave but I have had enough of this situation, I'd like to just move on and try to fix the storm inside my head, not to mention all this pity I have been receiving. Yes, I have been through a lot and maybe it's taken a bit of it's toll on me, but it doesn't make me weak or fragile, I know I can shake this – I just need a little time.

"Sorry I just want this all to be over" I sigh, rolling my eyes.

"Trust me honey, we all do" Anne reaches over to take my hand, and I give it a squeeze before she retreats back to her regular position.

"The sooner we get your statement the sooner it'll be over" Detective Tasler informs me, his mouth in a thin line. Great.

He dives right in with the questions of how we all met James and if we ever suspected he was up to something like this; followed by a subtle accusation at Anne for being his wife and a earful from me on how that's not even remotely possible.

The quick and sudden rise in temper had me shaking within minutes and we had to take a break so I could take my meds. Once we were all sure I was okay we continued – despite my mothers inclination to leave it for another day – but I made her understand I wanted this over with.

"Is that all?" I sigh heavily, a hand to my forehead as I watch detective Tasler scribble away at his notepad.

"Just one more question" he breathes in deeply and his dull blue eyes stare into brown, "How long have you known about your fathers involvement with Mr. Cortland?" he squints, examining my face for any sort involvement myself.

"I'm sorry but it almost sounds like your accusing her of being a part of this shite" Harry startles us all, appearing from behind the wall I had chosen to eavesdrop from only a few hours ago. His arms crossed over his broad chest, covered in a plain white t-shirt and his signature black jeans making their appearance as well, but I can't seem to look past his gloriously naked feet. That is until Mr. Tasler interrupts me and reminds me I should be half upset with my boyfriend.