Stay With Me || H.S

45

"You think just because you took on the responsibility of being my 'hero' - a responsibility I never asked you to take on - that I don't know how to take care of myself?" I hiss, "FYI I've been taking care of myself since I was six!" I ball my fists at my sides, practically yelling in Harry's face. I take a split second to come to terms that this was always where Harry and I were heading, either by his doing, mine or both.

"I did it because I loved you" He bites, taking a step back and turning his back on me.

"You did it because, you... loved, me" I repeat, almost laughing, "But not anymore right? Because your tired of me - of us" I run my hands through my hair in a fury.

"Right now I might just be" he mumbles, and I don't feel the least bit surprised. My anger not letting the sad realization bring tears to my eyes. Isn't that what you wanted to hear? My Subconscious taunts. Yeah.. but I had hoped I was wrong..

"Fine" I take a deep breath to gather the courage I need, "You won't have to worry about me, or my problems anymore" I throw the questionable statement out there before I high jack it out of there.

I rush downstairs ignoring Anne's attempt to get my attention and just, speed walk for several minutes, not sure where my feet are taking me. I just need space, peace and time to think.

[Harry]

I don't even think to run after her, like all the times i've done in the past. I'm just a little glad she made me be completely honest with her because I know I wouldn't have been able to on my own, I wouldn't have had the heart.

Everything is just easier when i'm angry, nothing really matters. It's ironic really, because it feels like nothing matters at all, when in reality its the fact that everything does in fact matter. I wouldn't feel angry if none of it mattered.

I may need some time to think things through thoroughly, but one thing I am certain of is how I feel about Lana. I do love her, there is not a single moment where those feelings have faltered as I have made her believe.

The more I think about it, the more guilty I start to feel. I shouldn't have said that to her.. I shouldn't have let her believe that I did not love her when in truth I was answering only part of her question. I am tired, as heartless as it may sound, but I am of flesh and blood too. I have suffered along with her through all of the chaos that has come our way.

Can I really be blamed for wanting our relationship to exist in a more normal occasion? I almost prefer being lied to, I almost wish I had never found out about Lana's reality, and I know how narcissistic that sounds - no it is.

I just want her..

Her sassy attitude, her enticing personality and strong determination. I didn't mean she couldn't take care of herself, I know she can especially after all she's been through. I guess I said that to spite her, and it seems to have worked.

After a while of going over the whole argument from start to finish about a dozen times, I wander down the hall to Gemma's room in hopes of finding Lana in there. Maybe now that we've both calmed down we can actually talk about the things we've said and how most weren't true.

I didn't bother knocking and just waltzed in, earning an earful from my sister on the importance of privacy and manners. But all I was looking for was Lana and she was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Lana?" I ask, my brows furrowed, and my sister sighs her hands on her hips.

"I don't know - the last I heard she slammed the door and ran off after your screaming death match" she states materafactly.

"Don't start, it doesn't concern you" I warn before turning and rushing downstairs.

I head straight for the living room only to startle my mum but I don't give her a chance to ask what's going on. I don't need to worry her and have her snooping in our business.