T&J

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TAEHYUNG

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TAEHYUNG

After the storm, the calm sinks in to reveal the brightest sun and rainbow on the sky. 

Two years was a long time for us to get this far, a state where we've been longing for; peace. I arrived back in Seoul after my long flight from Paris to surprise my beautiful girlfriend and since I have the password to her penthouse, I was able to sneak myself at dawn before she wakes up. Cooking was never my expertise to begin with, but I was able to develop my skills throughout the years with lots of trials and errors with her. At least I'm able to make decent meals now. 

As I was preparing her favorite pancakes to start her day, I was reminded of our struggles in those two years. It was draining for me to be with her most of the time because it was hurting me mentally to see her destructing herself. But I had to be strong, knowing I was the one who reassured her that stepping into a relationship with me right after her huge break up was the best idea. I know I should've think it through but when your heart longs for someone that long, time is just a ticking bomb. 

Jennie had it bad. She would daze, starring into the abyss-- probably recalling the moments they made, or worse, the night of their break up. I remember calling herself back to the present, but my heart clenched at the sight of a tear rolling down her cheek. She wouldn't cry about it, always posing a numb look but some droplets would fall. She was paralyzed, unable to feel anything but the void lingering between herself and her emotions. 

Jennie would often remain silent-- toying her food instead of eating them, or drowning herself in work. I think working was the only time I was able to see some motions finally happening, but when she's with me, she stayed silent and mostly remain in one spot throughout the day. I tried to lift her spirits up by taking her on dates, but the only response I would get is a small weak smile curved from her mouth. It was enough to keep me going at first, but as time goes by, I start to question my strategy to be ineffective. 

I tried my best to convince her to see a therapist, only to get the same response from her; I don't need one, I have you. I recalled the moment where I pressed this matter further to the brunette girl, telling her how I can't help her extensively unlike seeing a professional who is certified-- but she would, without her knowing, guilt trip me with sobs coming out from her lips; tricking me to think she's finally showing some progress to admit her emotions, when it's not. 

Even though it is mentally exhausting for me, I couldn't leave her-- not when I just got her. So I vowed to myself to make this work, and find another method to convince her otherwise. I recalled having to trick her, taking her to the therapist room then she cursed at me for lying to her. But I had to, for the sake of her own good. An acquittance of mine had deem his psychologist to be worthy so I brief the psychologist in advance before Jennie come. I thought it'd save time for her recovery and though she gave me the silent treatment for a month, I still receive updates of her going to the therapist on a daily basis. 

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