Loving Madness

Preface- Meadow of Death

Faded- Alan Walker

I'm running through the woods. Well, really just jogging. I'm calm, my heartbeat is steady. A sheen of sweat covers my body. I love taking these runs, it makes things clearer in my mind. A light slowly filters through the trees in front of me. That's when a cold chill runs down my back. I've been here before. There was never a clearing in these trees. It should go on for at least another five miles. I want to turn back, but my legs and feet are no longer under my control.

They push forward and push until I am right in front of the break in the trees. My legs are still not mine but now I am simply walking. I want to run in the opposite direction but something is compelling me to move forward.

I break through the trees to find the most enchanting little meadow. I chuckle at my unwillingness to find this place. It was wonderful. The sun filters through onto my skin as I step into it. The grass is as green as it is when it comes back to life after a long winter's nap.

This should have been my first warning sign as to the dangers that awaited me, as it was the middle of winter, but my mind was still broken, and recognizing danger hadn't been restored yet.

The sun feels so nice on my skin I have to look up to the wondrous ball of warmth providing me with this feeling.

My eyes rise and I see that it isn't the sun at all. It's a ball of red metal that has been transformed into a ball of fire. My breath hitches in my throat and I begin to choke as the realization sinks in. I fight to take my eyes off the ball of metal in the sky and when I do, I regret it. It is no longer the meadow of beauty, but the meadow of everything I fear in life, the meadow of death. In one corner, there is me. I am lying there, surprisingly unbroken, desperately trying to call for my parents. I know not to look the other way, but my eyes are not my own. There in the opposite corner are my parents. Well, their bodies, broken, bruised, and lifeless.

Suddenly, the vision begins to fade. I became aware of a screaming. When the image is gone, I am vaguely aware that the screams are coming from me. Then there are arms around me. I thrash and lash out, but the arms are strong. A smell comes through my nose, a slight deep woods smell, with an old spice overtone. Small recollection tickles at the back of my mind, but I'm still too far gone to connect the dots.

"Mayslee, come back to me." a voice whispers in my ear. Deep, husky, and perfect. I stop thrashing and struggling and fight the fog that clouds my mind. His face. The only thing that could ground me in these times. I squeeze my eyes shut and push the fog away; when I open them, I am not disappointed. His face, so perfect, just inches from mine. Tears form in my eyes as I look at his perfection. How could someone like that belong to someone so broken? Then I remember, while on the outside he may be perfect, but on the inside, he is just as broken as me.