INTERVAL

A civil conversation

Kahina's POV

My life has changed so much over the last month that it all felt overwhelming. After the current news, I couldn't handle Rowan's presence, I just wanted time to myself. It is not that I blame him for anything really. I don't know who to blame because either way there's no winning in this.

I can't rule him out because I'm hopelessly in love with him and I crave his touch every minute of everyday, but it is because he is part of this. So his cheating mate was killed by his own father, it doesn't mean murder millions now does it?

And then again, heartbreak can be so cruel that it's either you make everyone else feel pain to endure your pain better or just let the pain kill you. I don't want him gone, I wouldn't have met him.

But my father.. it hurts because I don't know the actual truth, but I know it will come back to me, eventually.

Distracting myself from these intense thoughts felt impossible, until I went to visit Quincy.

She was very excited that I was there, she introduced me to her new friends. Yes, she has friends now and they look as happy as ever. There's nothing else that made me feel better like that.

Just the fact that humans are starting to be included in society. Given jobs, given their own homes, not hunted or killed out of the random. Heck I walk on the streets and no one ever hurts me. Actually, I think it's probably because they know I am mated to their king and I am now a being almost as strong as him.

That's another thing that freaks me out. I never thought I'd miss living in fear like this. I just miss people not quivering in my presence, although Rowan, he feeds off of that. Fear, it's like a drug to him. He feels disrespected if there is no fear, he wants people to feel lower than him and he is not afraid to kill if one feels as though they are his equal. I thought he was batshit crazy until I started feeling this new presence inside me.

It's not something about having an ego, it's the other side of you, the stronger side, it just feels more superior. That's how I felt at that gala last night. I felt superior and demanded that from everyone else. I was not doing it intentionally but Rowan loved it too.

Although something I lack is the fact that I'm scared. I'm scared that because of the way Rowan is, he will never allow me to be his equal and I will fight him till I am. I am not trying to be tamed, I just want to feel valued in a way.

Currently I am sitting outside, catching some air in the beautiful garden. There was a fountain which was surrounded by big grass walls that made the space more relaxing and mostly, it was peaceful.

Keyword, "was".

"Hello there, enjoying yourself?" I turned my head to the entrance of the well circle. It is called a well circle. I see Henry emerging from the grass walls and entering the center of the garden.

"I was."I gave him the honest answer. I was enjoying my peace before he showed up.

"Oh right, you're the mean twin." He says more amused than I expected him to be.

"I'm the honest one. What are you doing here anyway?" I asked as we started walking to a nearby bench. To take a little break.

I do not think I've ever actually had a one on one with Henry and maybe it's because I never really liked him. At first I didn't like him because of the same reason as I didn't like everybody else. And then it was because it felt like he was taking my sister away from me. But now, I know he's the perfect person for her so I have to adjust to him too.

"I wanted to talk to you, you know about the obvious. You and my cousin." He explains, it was only now I noticed that he was holding some wrapped up sandwiches. "I requested Aunt Elsa to make these, hope they are to your liking."

He hands me one which I obviously wouldn't turn down food besides I don't remember eating today. Just waking up and exercising like I have been since the Scylla news.

"Do not mind if I do." He chuckles as I opened the sandwich and the smell of bacon made me give a long drawn sigh. "So what exactly are you really here for? The sandwich bribe worked." I say in between my chews.

"Oh good, I was hoping it works." He says. "I noticed you've been a little... distant lately. Oh and do not worry, Rowan did not send me here. Neither did your sister." He says. My sister, he usually calls her by his mate but I guess things can change when we are trying to get along then.

"It's not that I am distant, I just have a lot on my mind. I just needed space to breathe you know?" I explained. I needed some air from everyone because I couldn't bare so much shitty news.

"I understand. I mean, I used to shut everyone out when I felt overwhelmed. Of course not for too long because Rowan enters people's heads." He rolled his eyes at the last statement. "But you know as his equal, he can't do that with you. Which means he's really craving to know what's going on in that head of yours."

Wow he's right. Now that I think about it, he always wants me to tell him what's going on but he tries really hard not to push me into it. I love him for that.

"I've never exactly been the best at talking about my feelings." I reply honestly as I looked at the men fighting in the arena.

"I understand, plus the new environment. It feels like you're going against your belief you know?" He says taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Yes! Exactly, I mean he has tried meeting me halfway. Well, he's halfway through that of course but he's trying and I love that about him." I reply getting butterflies at the thought. I took in a deep sigh which somehow brought back a scent, a sort of nostalgic scent. Or maybe I'm just going crazy.

"But I don't think that's how he feels." I quickly turn my head from the arena to his face at his shocking words.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I searched for the answer on his face.

"Well, you're not telling him and knowing Rowan, he's probably blaming himself." He replies.

"Oh my goodness, you're right. I should talk to him." I say getting up from my seat. Just as I was about to leave, I stopped to look at him, when I turned around I caught his eyes on my butt? No I probably was imagining it because he was quick to look back at my face. "What about us?" I asked as a new thought came to mind?

"You mean us fighting to protect your sister? That is another problem but I don't think we need to stop. She needs as much protecting as she could get now." He's right.

"Um.. thanks. I'll see you later." I say before I got ready to leave.

"No problem." He says holding up his sandwich.

I ignored my stupid thoughts and ran to Rowan's office, assuming that was where he would be. Henry is right, maybe talking more about my feelings is good.

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Hey readers, hope you're going to love this chapter🫶🏽