Relationships - A MDE FanFiction

Chapter 11

Alex's P.O.V

After a day full of coursework and PeaceTea, I finally retired to my laptop in my room. I was getting homesick very quickly and I had to see my family soon. I might go tomorrow after school - as soon as I can.

I logged onto my YouTube and was greeted by a number of notifications but, what really confused me, were a few new subscribers:

Mirandaxxx
Lynn23xx
Betty_xx

It could be coincidental that, all at the same time, three people followed me who shared the names of the people who are determined to make my life a living Hell but it was very unlikely so I click their names.

It was even more unlikely that these three people, who shared the names of the people who were determined to make me life a living Hell, looked exactly the same as the people.

"Greaaaattt...." I spoke to myself in my room.

What if it was them? Would they comment? Would they show people? Should I be embarrassed? They judged me for everything and it was sure that they would judge my for my YouTube channel. I tried to keep it a secret from them but I guess I shouldn't hide it anymore. There was nothing to be embarrassed about...was there?

I sighed as a sign of exhaustion as I started to click on their accounts and looking through.

Oh god! Miranda just shared my video and told people to "check out my account." She was so popular and had around 4000 friends on Facebook so it would be a miracle if no one in my class saw it.

If I deleted my channel now I could save myself the embarrassment! Was there anything to be embarrassed about anyway? Should I delete my account or not? My channel was the only thing I could use as an alternative of self-harm and I didn't want to lose it but maybe I had to.

Face everyone knowing and judging me and hope for a good response? Or not take the risk?

I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath and clicked the button that determined my fate.

Minimise.

I minimised the tab that held my YouTube account on.

I didn't want to delete it but I didn't want to face everyone. My subscribers deserve better. They deserve me following my own advice that I gave to them, to follow their dreams and passions no matter what.

I clicked on the Facebook tab to see what was being said about my video so that I was prepared for tomorrow's visit to school.

"OMG! Is this actually Alex?"

"She looks so cringy! Who actually makes YouTube videos?"

"Why is as so attached to her followers? Is it because she can't make real friends so she has to befriend creepy Emo kids like herself?"

"How embarrassing!"

"When I next see her, I'm going to rip the piss out of her"

"I'm watching all of her videos! They're sooo weird!!"

These comments made me want to cry and hide forever. Everyone is going to take the piss out of me. I really wanted to move school, state, country - if I had to. I just wanted everything to be over but with Johnnie now a big part of my life - I didn't want to leave him.

Maybe I should tell him about it. Should I? No, I won't. I don't want to put any more strain on him.

"Hey, just came in here to see if you're alright. I haven't seen you practically all day. Finished all your coursework now?" Johnnie asked whilst popping his head around my door.