Relationships - A MDE FanFiction

Chapter 35

Alex's P.O.V

Days went by so now Shannon was out getting a pregnancy test while Johnnie and I were at school. I told him and he was very nervous. Of course a family wouldn't be a terrible thing but at this age it would. I can't believe how stupid and reckless I was. You always assume that people who have children young are slutty and easy but the truth is that it can also be one mistake. Me, who only had sex once and only ever had one boyfriend, maybe pregnant? Sure, you get the gift of a child at the end of it but I also wanted to focus on my school work and My Digital Escape. The comments?! If I was to have a baby at this age not only would people who are physically here say mean things but it would also be online comments. I just couldn't cope. I'm barely coping now! If you could call it coping...Too much responsibility. I can't even look after myself. Overall, I feel sorry for the kid who is going to be born to a freak like me.

"Alex?" Johnnie asked, concerned.

"Yeah?" I replied back to him. We were in the crowded cafeteria at lunch, sitting at the furthest from the door so we could avoid more people bumping into us.

"You're doing it again" He now told me, looking upset.

"What?" I said, confusion evident in my tone.

"Overthinking. Panicking. Replaying the worse case scenario over and over again in your head. To name a few" Johnnie told me. Yes was right. 100% right. I couldn't raise a child at this age. It was irresponsible. Oh god! I hadn't even thought of what my mum would think of me! Moving in with my boyfriend at a young age and then this. Oh god...

"Yes! But I have to! If I don't then I won't be able to understand the situation properly" I attempted at explaining what my brain does every second of every day.

"You don't understand the situation properly if that's your logic. Everything will be fine" Johnnie spoke to me in a calm and warming voice.

"No! That's your advice for everything! "It'll be fine"! What are you going to do when it isn't fine! I can't just stop myself from panicking! It's not like that! I'm not like you! I can't just push my feelings away and care for others! I'm selfish! I panic about myself and myself only! I can't be as perfect and caring and amazing as you! The worse case scenario is very likely to be reality" I stressed. With slight tears forming in my eyes, I brushed them aside. I keep my feelings to myself so when I tell people, I get upset because all my emotions come rushing out.

"Alex, you are perfect! Why are you always so scared? Everything will be fine. Best case scenario is that you're not pregnant but what's the worse case scenario? That we end up with a kid? A kid who we will raise together. We'll still do My Digital Escape but we'll more into our own little house nearby. A house with swings and a massive garden for our child. We could get married and end by being happy and then eventually have more children and have a proper family. That's the worse case scenario and that doesn't seem too bad to me. It's a future that I'm hoping we'll have one day but if you're pregnant then we'll end up achieving that future earlier. It means that earlier we can hold our child in our arms and just that bit earlier that I can look into your beautiful eyes and say "I do". Either way I end up with you so I'm happy" Johnnie explained as he grabbed my hand and held it to his heart.

"See this is why I hate you! I can't say anything as cute as that!" I complained, chuckling, with a little tear of happiness in my eyes.

"You don't have to say anything cute. Just be with me and that will be good enough" He blissfully replied

"Stop! I can't be that cute!" I continued with the same tone of voice as before.