heaven ☆ mick mars

48.

i chewed my nails profusely.

i could barely stand. there's no way i could just leave.

but the door is open.

where did mom even go?

weakly, i got to my feet. everything felt so heavy, yet when i looked down, i'd never seen myself look so thin. pale. bruised.

every silent footstep was a triumph, my body trembled in anticipation and fear.

i moved slowly up the staircase, my breath shaky, using my hands on the bannister to support my frail body.

i stopped on the fifth step, halfway up.

"this is crazy", i thought to myself, "this is fucking insane".

but if i'm going to die, i will leave this world kicking and screaming.

i continued to slowly and cautiously travel up the stairs. just before i reached the top, i ducked down rapidly and my heart started to pound out of my chest.

i could see my mother, phone gripped tightly in her hand.

"could you please tell me if frankie feranna is in your care?" she asked with that sickly sweet voice. "i'm um..i'm one of his relatives, we're so worried about him."

terrible liar. she could've said friend, something less dumbassy than 'relatives'.

shit wait. that could work in my favour.

"well i-...yes, i just want to know his condition right now..but sure, yeah i can give you my number for updates, it's.."

as i honed in on the conversation, i stopped to notice something i'd been deprived of for so long: daylight.

the sunlight poured into wherever we were. i saw shadows of birds flying past on the white walls. the air was fresher up here, i'd gotten so used to how musty it was in the basement where i was kept.

i'd been so immersed in the sight of it all, the close doorway of freedom, i hadn't notice the tears running down my face.

"why do you need my name? i'm his family!" i could hear her become agitated. "can you tell me if he's okay or not? can you do your damn job?!"

i waited with baited breath to hear her responses.

"he's been dispatched? so he's okay? so why did you ask me for my...well why can't you tell me more?! useless fucking assholes!!" she slammed the phone down, the bell of the handset dinged quietly before fading completely as a result.

john appeared behind her. i quickly but quietly crawled back down the stairs, trying with every inch of my life to be silent when clicking the door shut.

once in my room, i practically collapsed in a heap on the floor with exhaustion and adrenaline combined. everything was too much.

i should've ran when i had the chance. i should've fucking tried, at least.

she'd been a part of my kidnapping, that's probably how she knew which fucking hospital he was in back when they took me. nearest fucking one to the nightclub that me and the guys were at before i left and met dewy and sam.

i closed my eyes tightly and thought of the one person i wanted to be with.

mick.

how would i make it out of here?

i've got to get away.

i drifted into restless, barely unconscious sleep.

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