heaven ☆ mick mars

20.

me and mick pretty much spent the rest of the day in our room, attempting to avoid all contact with the rest of the band. i didn't stop shaking like a leaf until a few hours after the incident.

i woke in the middle of the night however, looking up at the clock. 4am.

i decided to get a drink, hoping for some peace in the living room from mick's snoring. it was adorable, but i hate snoring no matter who it's coming from.

the tap softly released water into the glass as i stared out the window.

we had a beautiful view of the city. i wasn't actually sure which one were in, but the lights were amazing.

i suddenly felt really secure. despite what happened with nikki, i felt miles and miles away from mom and john. surrounded by the people who i loved.

i did love nikki. just not his drinking. or his drugs.

my whole body jumped as i turned to face my brother a few feet in front of me, who looked as if he'd had no sleep, his eyes red and his face soaked in tears. his hair was messy and he looked out of breath.

"nikki-"

"lillian i'm so sorry...but you have to help me..." he said, moving forwards as i gripped the edge of the counter, slightly scared of how he was behaving. i then realised, he's my brother. what happened before...it wasn't him.

i stopped forward and placed a hand on his arm, smiling reassuringly.

"what's wrong nikk?" i asked softly.

he smiled at me gratefully. "can't you hear them?"

i shook my head in confusion, "hear what?"

"the voices...they're everywhere they're watching us, they're going to get us!"

my attention was then drawn to his arm as he placed both hands on my shoulders. blood ran down it. i rolled his sleeve up slightly to see. he had shot up.

"please lillian, they're coming for us, i have to protect you!" he whispered loudly.

i didn't know how to deal with him in this state. i was so angry at him. but at the same time i knew he must have some shitty demons to do this.

i pulled him into my arms, he returned the hug tightly, sobbing softly.

"we need to get out of here lillian..." he said as we pulled away, i looked down to see the gun now pulled out of his pocket. i stumbled backwards quickly and held my hand out.

"nikki, where the hell did you get that?"

"it's gonna save us...from anyone who tries to stop us and...and the voices..." his eyes darted around madly. he looked insane, this tour was destroying him.

i attempted to move further away but he only walked closer towards me. "nikki, please...put the gun down." he shook his head.

"we have to go." he reached his free hand out towards me. i knew nikki wouldn't shoot me. but nikki on heroin? different story.

"maybe if we just go and get the others-"

"NO! we can't trust any of them lillian! not mick, not tommy, not vince."

shit. this wasn't gonna end well.

i slowly put my hand in his and he lead me out of the villa.

"nikki you could get arrested for being seen with that gun!" i said as he picked up the pace, leaving me jogging to keep up with him.

"at least we'd be safe."

we paused in our tracks as we heard the front door open, footsteps slowly walking out of the building behind us. we turned slowly to find mick moving towards us. oh shit.

"lillian? what's going on?"

"no mick, get back!" i shouted as nikki lifted the gun up and shot.