heaven ☆ mick mars

16.

as i was walking, i realised. tommy was right.

if you want something, life is too short to wait around.

if i wait too long to just tell mick straight up how i feel, sober, might i add, i may lose my chance. i'm not prepared to watch something i care about pass by in the blink of an eye.

the poem said it all. i know what i mean to him now.

he changed me and i changed him. our whole look on love. i cant lose him now. not to some fucking disease and certainly not to wasted time.

i'm young. he's not as young. but i don't care.

so my walk soon turned into a run towards the building in desperation to save what i wanted most.

i ran into the reception where nikki, tommy and vince turned around as i burst into the building.

"what room is mick in?" i shouted.

"r-room 342, but lillian, wait-" vince shouted after me as i sprinted up the stairs, completely out of breath by the time i reached the top. i still clutched the poem to my chest as i attempted to open the door, yet failed as it was locked.

i knocked loudly on the door, not caring for the residents in their rooms.

no response.

i knocked again, even louder, not willing to take no for answer.

"mick?" i shouted. "mick open the door!"

after knocking and calling his name for about 30 seconds, i leant against the door and sunk to the floor in defeat.

this couldn't be it. this couldn't be the end.

how would i go on without him?

how could i tour the world with mötley crüe if i had to sit every day and call mick mars my friend, when behind the scenes he hates me.

who would save me? who would save him?

i can't just bury these feelings. it may of been possible with past crushes but this is too strong. i have to let go. i have to tell him. whether he wants to hear it or not.

"mick i know what you heard back there...hurt, but...none of it was true! i just...it feels like we're in this in between space right now. like, we're so close but we're so far apart. i didn't fully know how you felt, but after reading your letter...i just, i have to tell you how much you mean. we haven't known each other for long but, i've never felt this way before and i know i hurt you. i just hated that tommy, nikki and vince we're constantly asking me about something that i didn't understand. i need you mick. you saved me, multiple times, and i need you."

i waited about 15 seconds. nothing. looking to my left as i got up off the floor, i noticed the rest of mötley crüe looking at me sympathetically.

"well there you go. that's it. nikki you weren't happy about it, so i hope you're happy now." i spoke from the outside the room.

"listen lill, we're gonna unpack. talk to us if you need us." tommy said, sadness in all of their faces. i nodded as they disappeared round the corner.

it was too late.

but as i walked a few metres from his room, i stopped in my tracks as i heard the door click open.

i turned around and met eyes with him.

we both look at each other, sympathy and love in our eyes.

"you really mean all that?" he spoke softly. i nodded slowly in response.

"i love you, mick. i need you."

he smiled. "i love you too, lilly." i smiled back. what came next was needed.

i ran up to him before wrapping my arms around his neck tightly.

this was it right here. my home. my everything. the reason i'm fighting through the pain of the trauma from my past.

we pull away, still in each other's space.

"i'm just...i'm so sorry that i-"

i am cut off by mick's lips touching mine. softly, then all at once. he places a hand on my neck, he moves his lips, and then puts the other hand on my neck too, deepening the kiss. my cheeks flush pink as time around me stops. it felt like the kind of kiss that takes your breath i smile, and i can feel his lips curve too. we pull away, and i rest my forehead on his.

"stop apologising, spacegirl."