| UNHINGED | WILHEMINA VENABLE

35

"No no no Lilac LILAC!!!" I scream at the top of my lung jumping into the pool, pulling her out the water, "LILAC WHO DID THIS TO YOU" I look at her cut open belly, her eyes are rotten, she's decomposing.

I sobs so hard I thought my heart stop beating, I don't know who to call, Warren? Definitely not.

I sit next to the pool holding Lilac, the smell disappear since my nose get used to it.

The sun starting to show herself, I lose hopes, carrying Lilac, digging up a hole and buried her wasn't easy. The dirt get into my mouth while I was sobbing hard on her grave.

What should I do now? Kill myself?

Walk back up the stairs to Mina's study room I check each and every drawers, everything is gone.

I noticed there's a purple box on top of the bookshelf, I stand on a chair and grab it.

It's not that heavy. I get down and open it.
Cash, a lot of it. Without any letter.

I decided to take a shower, it's strange that the electricity is cut off but the water is still running.

Packing my things into a medium size suitcase, I take some of my clothes with me including Wilhemina's. Her perfume too.

I shoved the bag of money into the suitcase and some into my back bag, looking like I'm preparing for a trip, you're not wrong. I'm going on a trip to find my fiancé. You can't left me alone in the hospital for a week and disappear into the abyss.

***

I get in the Uber and planning on staying at the same motel I stayed last time and search for her, if she's not in this town, I swear I'll suck in the ocean, dig up the all the dead corpse, fucking go to a psychic or something. I will find you, Wilhemina.

Oh before going to the motel I went to the police station and ask for some information, they told me I was all alone upstairs unconscious. No one was in that house. When they found me laying on the bed, they immediately brought me to the hospital. I did ask them how did they know, they said they received a phone call from a man telling them to come to the house. So they did.

***

Months later, I lost count.

Sitting on my bed in my new apartment. Yes I moved from that town that filled with all the painful and epic memories.

She said she don't wanna lose me but then she left me.

I go back to being a psychiatrist. I don't really miss talking to unstable being, which I do everyday every night with myself.

I starting to hate the color purple. Or maybe it just brings back her ghost.

Each time I hear someone with the same name as her, I froze.

I've lost so much weight, my face and figure is almost unrecognizable to me. I don't know who I'm becoming. For fuck's sake I don't even know going back to being a psychiatrist is a good way to start a new life in this mental state.

***

A year gone by unnoticed, I'm getting much more alive, not really alive alive but better.

"Take care Emily" I smile at one of my patient, who experience almost similar love life as me, it's toxic, but god doesn't it feel good while it last.

"Dr.Clair you're an amazing person, I hope you know that" she says flashes me a smile, "thank you Emily" I wish I was.