Safe Haven (SLOW updates)

chapter thirty-eight

Indigo walked into the house from school; she wasn't in the mood since all the seniors were talking about prom and their graduation. She knew Sevyn would've destroyed prom and planned to be right by his side through everything. 

"You okay?" Aziel asked, seeing his youngest daughter standing by the door in deep thought. 

"How did you get over Mommy dying?" 

"I'm not over your mother dying; I'll never get over that."

"How could you be so happy then? I remember you being exactly like this before she died."

"I'm happy because I'm not rotting in a jail continuing to miss out on my daughters and granddaughters' lives. Your mother was the love of my life. I couldn't imagine my life without her."

"So, how are you coping?" 

"By this." He hugged his daughter, making her smile. "My beautiful wife created four beautiful daughters, and I get to see her in them every day. I could've given up, especially while in jail, but I know your mother wouldn't dare want me missing out on anything, so I'm living life for her."

"Before Sevyn died, we talked about what would've happened if he died; he said he wanted me to live my life and continue to find happiness, but I just don't know how to anymore. I see myself trying to be happy, and it just feels wrong."

"Baby, you don't owe no happiness to anybody but you. You've been in a dark place, and you're the only one who can find the light to get out. The happiness is there; you just have to let it in." 

Indigo didn't say anything, but she just nodded. 

"But you also can't rush grieving baby." He told her. "I've had two years to do nothing but grieve; you have to take your time. It's only been two months, Indi, and you can't get over a breakup, let alone death, in two months. Stop rushing the process; you cannot move on until you understand he's gone."

"But I don't understand it because why is he gone?!" She yelled, tears welling up in her eyes. "He was going to get drafted into the NFL and propose to me on draft day. Once he won a championship, we were going to have our first kid. We had our life planned out; nothing in the plan included this! This wasn't the plan!" 

Aziel sat down on the arm of the chair, allowing Indigo to vent as her sisters came into sight. They heard her from outside the door but decided not to say anything as she continued yelling in pain. Flaire eyes begin watering; she wish she could take all the pain from Indigo. She'll do it every day all over again. 

Genesis was about to say something, but Aziel held his hand out, letting them know not to say anything. He waved them upstairs so he could have this time to Indigo.

"If I would have just listened to what he said, he would've been with me; there would've been no shooting." 

"Baby-"

"But it was meant to happen because if he was hiding a whole girl behind my back, then what else? Maybe he was in some beef? Maybe I can't grieve properly because I don't have closure; I don't know why he's gone."

"And you have to be okay if you don't get that answer because sometimes you just won't ever."

"I want to find out." 

"Sometimes the answer isn't what you're looking for; it could do more harm than good. Just don't get yourself into anything, and be safe. There wouldn't be a world worth living if one of my girls got hurt."

"I won't. Thank you, Daddy. I know we've been working on our relationship, and lately, it feels like the last two years didn't happen. I love you so much."