are you mine? - a south park style fanfic

Chapter 33 - Get The Fuck Out.

Tw: Violence, Blood, Mentions of Suicide

Stan's Pov:

"......."

Me and Kyle stood in silence for what seemed like ages, staring at Wendy both pale in the face. I felt like my heart sunk underground. He's fucking dead. I killed someone.

"W-What? Are you trying to fuck with us? Why did you bring us here for that?" Kyle said trying to lie, he really fucking sucked at it.

"Dude.. Kyle.. I know what happened. I was there. Stop acting stupid you're pissing me off." Wendy said rolling her eyes, I saw Kyle let out a huge sigh, but regain his terrified face when he remembered why we were here. I felt my heart beating at a pace so fast I was probably on the verge of a heart attack.

"Does anyone know? ....does Bebe know?" I said looking down at her more worried than I've ever been in my life. "Bebe doesn't know, but that doesn't mean someone else doesn't." I felt all the anger in my body condense in my fists. I immediately started walking to the nearest skate ramp and punched with everything in me. I could've easily broken my hand, but Wendy came and pulled me away as I angrily cried silently and sat on the ground with my head in my knees. "Stan this isn't the time to fucking throw a fit." Wendy said heartlessly, she doesn't know what it fucking feels like to hear you've just killed someone. "Have some fucking remorse Wendy what the fuck? You just told him he killed someone and you're going to act like he's in the wrong? The fuck is your issue?" Kyle said snapping at Wendy, if anytime was the time to start fighting because of me it wasn't now. "Kyle shut the fuck up seriously. He doesn't need to be going ape shit in public, shit maybe he'll take it out on you when he gets home like he used to do me." she said back to Kyle, my head flew up with anger but my emotions went away when I saw the amount of anger in Kyles eyes alone. He smacked the shit out of her and she started trying to get him back with punches. I jumped up and pulled Wendy away holding her arms behind her back. "Stop dude what the fuck?" I said yelling at Kyle backing away from him. He backed up trying to catch his breath a bit looking at her with a death stare. "How many fucking people did you tell." he said staring at her from the other side. "I only fucking told you guys! No one else fucking knows what happened and I'm not going to tell anyone. I don't know if Clyde told anyone, so someone could very well be on your case right now. You guys need to stay the fuck out of the streets and don't say anything to anyone." she said before I let go of her realizing her priorities were much more than fighting. She turned around towards me with a face full of pity as she hugged me. I bent down a bit and hugged her back looking at her long black hair. "Stan.. If anything happens, I want you to know how much I love you, and that I'm always going to be here." she pulled back from me and looked me in the eyes, putting her hand on my cheek. I knew Kyle was probably staring in disbelief right now, but I couldn't escape her trance. "It wont be safe for us to keep contact until school. Until then, just know I love you more than anything, and I'll make sure nothing happens. I'll do whatever it fucking takes." she said as a tear rolled down her face, before she pulled me into a kiss that I couldn't get out of. Fuck. Kyle's going to kill me. I was so caught up in it that I didn't even remember to call off things with her. I was so trapped in the thoughts of me being a murderer again, Wendy still loving me even after all that, and what could happen to me that I found myself even kissing back just to feel something other than the endless pit of fear swallowing me inside. Once I finally let go she gave me one last hug before disappearing into the dark. I stared at her leaving all the way until I could no longer see her. I finally turned around to explain myself to Kyle only to realize he was gone, jesus christ I was so caught up in Wendy I didn't even hear him leave. Once I got to the parking lot his truck was gone, fuck me dude, I fucked up bad this time. I found myself so angry at myself that on the walk home I punched everything I could see when I got the urge. I took it out mostly on trees and a few mailboxes, grunting out in pain knowing it hurt so bad but I couldn't make myself stop. I keep fucking up everything in my life and I don't know how to stop. After walking for almost 30 minutes I finally made it back to Kyles house, wishing I could just punch him in the face right then and there, but knowing I could never hurt him. I banged loudly on the door knowing his mom wasn't home so I couldn't get in trouble. After banging and yelling at him to let me in for 5 minutes I knew it wasn't going to be that easy. I looked over at the side of the house at Kyles window that he always kept unlocked incase of a fire, fuck it.

I pushed up the window as hard as I could with my fingers until it was open enough to put my hands through. As I tried pulling myself in I felt the window come down hard onto my hands "OW WHAT THE FUCK?" I screamed out in pain pulling my hands up which forced the window open again. I pulled myself in as fast as I could to grab my hands in pain as Kyle stood on the other side of his room yelling at me. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM STAN, IM FUCKING DONE." he screamed at me crying out. I knew I had to take on the calm role or it would end physical. "Kyle, please just hear me out."' I said trying to get closer to him. "NO. I'M FUCKING DONE. I'M DONE HEARING YOU OUT, AND LISTENING TO YOUR EXCUSES APON EXCUSES OF WHY YOU DON'T FUCKING KEEP HER OUT OF YOUR LIFE. EXCUSES ABOUT WHY YOU KEEP KISSING HER AND FUCKING HER AND KEEPING HER AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHEN YOU APPARENTLY LOVE ME. WANNA KNOW WHY? BECAUSE YOU FUCKING KNOW YOU DON'T." he said screaming at me and backing away closer to the corner of his room where the TV was. "Kyle. I fucking love you. I didn't know how to tell her because I was so overwh-" "SHUT THE FUCK UP STAN SHUT THE FUCK UPPP" he said yelling as he pulled a knife from one of the drawers in the dresser that held his TV and holding it out like he was going to use it against me. "I FUCKING HATE YOU. I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH DUDE. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE." he said getting closer screaming out to me like he was getting burned alive. "KYLE JUST FUCKING LISTEN TO ME!" I said running at him trying to get the knife out of his hand. He screamed out and swung it, slicing my hand. "FUCK DUDE." I screamed out holding my hand that was gushing out blood. Kyle started scream crying and still waving the knife out at me. He had lost it. "GET THE FUCK OUT GET THE FUCK OUT GET THE FUCK OUT STAN." he said backing me out of his room as I feared what he could try to do next. "YOU FUCKING RUINED ME. YOU REALLY FUCKING RUINED ME AND I CANT FUCKING FIX MYSELF. YOU ALWAYS PROMISE YOU'LL FIX ME, BUT YOU NEVER DO. YOU MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE AND I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE." he said crying as he backed me all the way to the front door. "Kyle.. please." I said holding my hands out trying to stop him from this psychotic episode. "GET THE FUCK OUTTT. I NEVER WANT TO FUCKING SEE YOU AGAIN. STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE. I. FUCKING. HATE YOU." he said falling onto the floor and curling up into a ball. I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces, and I knew, no matter what I said or did, or how many times I apologized, I had broken him, and there was nothing I would ever be able to do that would fix us. I stared at him on the floor crying, wishing I could just hold him and promise him everything would be alright, but I didn't.

I ran out the door not even bothering to gather the little belongings I did have at his house besides my keys, and jumped into my car. As I popped in my deftones cd I sat there for a few minutes crying my eyes out loudly, not even bothering to try to stay quiet, I couldn't pretend like I didn't have emotions anymore. I starred at the gun that I had used on Clyde not too long ago, and grabbed it as my hands shook violently from all the stress I was under and the cut that was literally wide open. I held the gun inside my mouth squeezing my eyes shut. It will all be over. I'll never have to worry about anything ever again. I'll just be another statistic, and when they find out what I'd done, they wouldn't be mad at me for all the horrible things I did, they'd feel pity and remorse for not helping me sooner. I felt my finger approach the trigger and my hands began shaking more feeling its cold curve. Tears streamed down my eyes and the lyrics from the music felt like they moved in and out of my brain, almost as if it was trying to make sense what my last moments sounded like. This is it. I'm finally going to be happy. I felt all my fear drift away as my finger began to press down. Until.

*Click*

Nothing. Nothing fucking happened. I opened my eyes, all the feelings that had just went away came back at once crashing into me like a 10 meter wave. I examined the gun as I struggled to breath and the music blared. No more bullets. Just my fucking luck. I began punching myself and my steering wheel in anger at the fact that nothing ever went my way. Every time I finally thought I reached happiness, there was always something. Where the fuck could I even find bullets now. If I went to a store it could be so obvious that I was the one who killed Clyde, and I might accidentally end up getting myself trapped in prison before I get the chance to kill myself. Unless.. Kenny. It was Kenny's gun, all I had to do was go get more bullets, and all my shit, then just run away. Run away from everything. Somewhere no one would ever find me. There was nothing left for me in South Park anyways, my girlfriend wasn't even my real girlfriend, my boyfriend went psycho all because of me and hates my guts, I'm an actual murderer now, and I have no fucking future regardless. There was nothing left for me here, which meant there was nothing else for me to do but leave.