Awesome Genshin Nonsense

SCARAMOUCHE GOES HAT SHOPPING

     Once upon a time some idiot destroyed the Wanderer's hat.

After the idiot was properly disposed of, Scaramouche decided a visit to Sumeru's Main Street was necessary. Going hatless– that was simply not an option.

When he found the store he was looking for, an employee ushered him in, speaking enthusiastically in a faint accent. "Come in, come in, what can I get for you today, sir?"

Scaramouche glared. "I'm finding a hat. Go away."

"Oh!" The employee clasped her hands in delight. "This way, sir, we have quite a fine collection..."

She lead Scara to a corner with a large amount of hats hanging on hooks before he could protest and immediately began sizing him up. "Are you looking for something in particular today, sir?"

"Yes, but-" he began.

The girl cut him off. "Oh, I see! You look like you wear... baseball caps, am I right?"

Infuriated, he threw his hands up in the air. "No! Get out of my way!"

She narrowed her eyes in thought, and then lit up. "Aha! Are you here for a fedora? You simply must buy one-"

She grabbed one off the wall and stuck it on his head, oblivious to his murderous stare, and beamed. "It's perfect, sir, perfect. It even hides your ugly haircut, you must buy it!"

Scaramouche considered wind blasting her into next week.

Instead he yanked the fedora off his head and tossed on the floor. "I just need a gasa, none of your useless crap. Get lost."

His eyes perused the walls and saw none. Perhaps he would have to order from Inazuma.

Suddenly the author leapt out from a rack of Gucci leather jackets. "DIE, SCARANARA!!"

He stared back, deadpan. The author grit her teeth. "I'll get you back for ruining my Raiden guaranteed when all I wanted was Faruzan, you despicable scaraloser!"

She unsheathed her pencil and electrocuted him with the eraser. However, him having the nature he had, it did virtually nothing.

Realizing her powerlessness, the author shoved her hands in her pockets and walked out, muttering angrily. "I leveled you to 70 for the free wishes, but you ain't going a single exp above, you know."

Scarameow also left and ordered a new hat from Ritou with free shipping the next day. The delivery included a complimentary keychain, which he threw in the trash.

The End.