Diaries of the Damaged (BxB)

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"February 4th, 2019

Dear diary, I'm starting to change. I've gotten a lot taller in the past few months. It's not like I'm tall now, but I'm definitely way taller than before. My voice is starting to change as well. It's a little weird now, but I guess it's going to get deeper. I mean, it's only natural I guess, I'm slowly becoming an adult. My body is changing, but I'm still the same in my head. I'm still sad, I'm still a loner, I still have problems expressing my feelings. I'm still having trouble with food, I still can't help but cry almost every day. I'm still cutting myself. Mentally, I haven't grown one bit."
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Wes's pov:

-"Morning..."-I said as I walked into Elio's room, even though he was still sleeping. But I knew that. After all, I just got up from his bed myself. It had been a week since he had been transferred into an ER, and I really tried my best to help him get back on his feet.

He hasn't really talked to me about what happened. He said he has been discussing things with his therapist, and there is nothing I can really answer to that. It's not like I can ask either of them about what they are talking about. His brother hasn't come to the hospital since then, so that was good, at least. And he is doing better than he was before, not perfectly, but better.

I put the bag from the bakery down and looked at Elio. You would never catch him sleeping on his back, his body was always curled up in such a weird way that I couldn't understand at all how he is even comfortable like that. Even now, he was lying on his stomach, his arms hugging the pillow on which his head was resting. He never uses a blanket either. I mean, he does, but he throws it somewhere while sleeping and never wakes up with it on him.

I glanced at his exposed lower back and his little ass popping in the air. How does he manage to look this slutty without even putting any effort into it? He has those two little holes on his lower back...so erotic.

I reached for his back, but then pulled away. I don't want to touch him while he's asleep, that makes me look like a pervert. I mean, I probably am a pervert, since I've been staring at his body while he's sleeping, but he doesn't need to know that yet.

But how can anyone blame me? I haven't taken this long break from sex in forever. Usually, even if I wasn't in a relationship at that moment, I would find a way to get laid. But I hadn't done it since I met Elio. I've never been in a relationship where I had to take it this slow...

I mean, he probably wouldn't protest if I went for it, but I don't want him to just lie there and let me do my thing, I want him to enjoy it as well. I just can't stop thinking about his past whenever I want to get intimate with him. It's not like it turns me off or all that shit Elio is worried about, but it makes me want to be extra careful...poor Elio, he doesn't even know his boyfriend is a needy, overly touchy pervert.

-"Elio, wake up. I brought you chocolate muffins."

-"Ughmmm, I wanna sleep more..."

-"Yeah, not happening, get up. It's already 11."

-"I don't give a shit, go away..."-rude coming from someone who was cuddling with me all last night.

-"Elioo~...if you don't wake up I'm going to do something really meann~"-I said, kinda singing my words. He buried his face in the pillow, chasing me away with his hand. Such a little brat. I slowly climbed on his bed, getting on top of him. He lifted his head, his eyes still closed.