Diaries of the Damaged (BxB)

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"September 7th, 2020

Dear Diary, I think I've completely lost my ability to feel happiness. Every day feels so monotone, so repetitive that I can't even tell if something happened yesterday or a day before. School was a blur; faces and voices that I could recognize, but didn't quite know. The laughter around me seemed distant, like a melody I couldn't quite catch. I sat alone at lunch. Ian has practices at lunch time now, so we don't get to eat together. Each bite felt like a chore, tasteless and uninteresting. The world outside seemed to move on, oblivious to the storm within me. It's as if I'm trapped behind a glass wall, watching life unfold but unable to touch it. Just the thought of returning home made me want to vomit. My teacher asked me if I was alright today...or was it yesterday? It doesn't really matter. I just told him I was okay and headed to my next class. It's not like I don't want to talk to someone, but how do you express a pain that feels so shapeless and vast? It's already nighttime. I guess I'll just sleep and pray that the shaking of my own bed as he climbs on top of me doesn't wake me up tonight."
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Wes's pov:

I woke up next to Elio again, in his bed. Well, next to his bed, because he pushed me off of it while he was sleeping. We really need a bigger bed...I guess it will be better when he moves in with me...

I walked to the window and opened it to let some air in. The window was quite big but it had metal bars on it, so I couldn't lean on the stool. The cold, icy air willed the room, making breathing so much easier. Damn, it's already February 2nd...

I walked up to Elio and covered him with a blanket that he so charmingly threw on the floor while sleeping. I don't want him to catch a cold with a window open. He murmered something in his sleep and got comfortable. I smiled, lying next to him and pulling him a little closer. He smells so damn nice...

We haven't really been that intimate these days, since that day he told me he wasn't in the mood. I feel like he has something on his mind that doesn't let him feel comfortable with doing anything a little more sexual, but he doesn't want to tell me. I asked him several times if there's anything that has been bothering him, but he assured me everything is okay. I mean, it's not like he's distancing himself, we literally sleep in the same bed every night. He also got more clingy, he wants to cuddle and kiss all the time, which I'm very happy about, it's just his sexual desire that's reduced. But I don't want to push him into doing anything, I want him to approach me when he feels like it.

He opened his eyes slowly, his eyebrows frowning as the bright light got into his eyes. He buried his face in my chest, hugging me tightly. I smiled, giving him a kiss on the top of the head.

-"Good morning, little one."

-"Morning..."-He murmured. I hugged him tightly and turned on my back, placing him on top of me and putting a blanket over us. I saw his sparkly eyes looking at me in the dark.

-"I made a little tent for us. Pretty cool, right?"-He chuckled.

-"Yeah, you're so cool..."-I pulled him a little bit closer, going for a kiss.

-"I haven't brushed my teeth yet..."-He said under his breath, just an inch from my lips. I smirked.

-"Me neither."-I whispered as I kissed him gently. He can be a little sensitive in the mornings, so I didn't want to overwhelm him.

-"...I have put in some data at the front desk. Wake yourself up a little bit. I'll be done in about 30 minutes, so we can eat something then, hm?"-I suggested.