Diaries of the Damaged (BxB)

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January 3rd, 2020

"Dear diary. Hi! How are you doing? I bet it's so peaceful just lying in the drawer all day, nobody bothering you. I wish we could trade places. I'm sorry for not writing anything in the last 2 months, but I've been feeling kinda bad lately and I didn't want to always write negative feelings inside you.

I have a new crush, that's kinda new. A boy whose grandma lives next door. He comes to visit her often. I love watching him read on the porch, he looks so beautiful when he does it. But that's all I do. Watch. I didn't approach him and I'm not going to. Even if he also liked boys, I probably still wouldn't approach him. I'm too damaged to be loved and I'm too scarred to love. Love is for people in movies and novels, not ordinary, empty people like me. The boy on the porch and I come from completely different worlds, I can tell just by looking at him. He is there to love, and I'm here to watch. That's all there is for me."
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One year earlier:(2022)

Elio's pov:(16 years old)

Finally, school is over. School was before the way to escape from my home, but now it's just another living hell.

-"Hey! Elio! Come hang out with us!"-Liam called to me. He was standing in the corner, smoking with some of his friends. They were one grade above me, but they were in a football team with Ian. Please, just leave me alone...

-"Sorry, I have to go home."-I tried to walk away but he caught my arm.

-"You are so mean! I ask you to hang out and you don't even consider it. That's not very friendly."-He dragged me into their little corner.

-"Can you let me go, please? I really have to get home, I have to watch over my niece."

-"Oh, such a good uncle you are. She'll wait. Come on, have a smoke with me."

-"...I don't smoke."

-"Now, don't be boring. Here, take one."-he shoved the cigarette in my mouth, holding it forcefully inside.

-"Breathe in."-I started coughing the moment I took a breath and they all started laughing. Fucking assholes.

-"Are you done?"-I asked as he let me breathe again.

-"Nahh. Hang out with us some more. You know, to be honest, I don't really care that you're a fag, that one wasn't much of a suprise. But that you're a whore, that was a new one."

-"...I'm not a whore. Ian made that shit up because we got into a fight."

-Yeah? He was really convincing though."

-"It's a lie no matter how convincing he sounded."-He smirked.

-"I like your attitude, standing your ground and all that shit. Didn't expect that from a fag. Tell me, do you have a crush on Ian?"

-"No, of course not."

-"No? What about someone else from school?"-Liam asked with an amused smirk.

-"Not really."

-"Ugh, you're no fun, I'm trying to talk to you about your love life here! What about me, hm? Do you find me attractive?"

-"No."-His friends laughed a little.

-"No? I think I'm quite a handsome guy."

-"You're not my type."

-"Yeah? What's your type then? I can help you find a perfect guy."-I looked at my watch. Shit, Zyan is going to punish me for being this late.