A C C I S M U S| 18+ (haitus)

ACCISMUS- CHAPTER 28~ MEMORIES

Catherine left after a few hours.

He knew for sure that she would've spent the night if he had asked but he didn't want to request too much from her at just the beginning of everything. His legs cramped twice a few nurses came in to do the hourly check-up, and his chin itched as he was due for a cut. His stubble was coming in, the texture made him uncomfortable as he shifted about in the hospital bed. The television illuminated the room even though it was muted, his eyes had gotten weary as he found it hard going pass seven p.m. these days.

The sound of the air conditioner made the atmosphere calm as he relaxed, the thought of his mother bought a troubling feeling in the pit of his stomach, he was so caught up with everything, and he felt guilty as it had slipped his mind. He could just imagine her doing the chemotherapy or whatever treatment she was on. He was emotional by nature as he couldn't help but think of her alone and strapped to a machine that will determine her fate.

The sight of her hair that was so precious to her- and for it to fall out, a tender scalp those moments must've been heart-breaking. He rested, her very strong on his mind.

And within the next few days he was deemed proper to be discharged. The lovely nurses were nice and exercised patience, they even allowed him prescription pain tablets and was asked by the doctor to come back for a check-up. Dwhyte found himself falling back into his normal routine. Retuned to work, Catherine was the only one that knew his situation, only to a limit though and he was appreciative if the way that she eased some of the work off him. Even though he was stubborn.

Work had gotten hectic due to the pile up of overdue tasks. It wasn't an excuse but he felt refreshed, the morphine did wonders. Being immersed in work was a blessing too, as it took his mind off of things.

And when I'm gone I don't want you crying for me.

As if saying something as cryptic as that didn't evoke emotion. In bad times like these she was his shoulder to lean on, how was he supposed to take that like a walk over. He rocked his legs as he found himself being bombarded with memories. The late night calls was comforting. He loved when she called at the wee hours as she knew he wasn't sleeping, and he enjoyed going outside on the balcony. The night air was the coolest.

Crisp and clean from all pollutions. The chilly night breeze gushed against the window pane, Drian was normally snoring as she blabbed on the most random stuff in her slumber. She could be so unpredictable and bought out that little excitement in his life. He grabbed the ballpoint pen and a piece of paper and started to write until his hands felt numb. It was unfortunate that his dominant hand was sprained, as he was advised not to exert pressure, instead- let it heal. But writing was therapeutic. It bought out the best in him. The funeral was soon, he would hate to not have a story line or something.

He laughed, writing made him expressive, he saw why his ex-wanted to pursue Literature. Drian was a sucker for words, she had pointed lips so it could bruise you or the opposite.

The tingle in his shoulder was the signal to stop, he had already filled a page. Handwriting fat and messy. He laughed again. And maybe having all this time for himself was something pleasant. Thoughts were much clear and unbiased as he knew how far down the denial stage he was. He was able to unravel his thoughts without compromise and contradiction and not having to give someone who wasn't worth it, the benefit of the doubt. It was a moment of solitude and not loneliness. But this level of reflection was what gave him insight as he calculated his next step.

Later, he was invited to spend the night at Catherine's. Fell asleep in the clothes she lent him the other night. He just loved the way she fitted perfectly like a jigsaw puzzle, overwhelmed by guilt but he wanted to be able to be fully transparent with her as she had fully opened up to him. She gave him access to is home, it wasn't jealously but after what had happened, he wished he could do something as brave as that. He kissed the forehead of the sleeping woman.

Her skin smelt of coconut this time.

He pulled the letter from his pocket that he had written in the bathroom. Catherine was busy preparing something in the kitchen earlier and it gave him some time. He found himself doing this a lot as it allowed him to escape and it gave his mind bypass as he would normally think of having a drink to forget. This was healthier and more productive.

Letter to Ashley.

Ashley.

Wow. It's actually the first time I've referred to myself using the name I've despised ever since I was knowledgeable to realize that it's part of my identity. No longer does it brings that level of exhaustion and negativity as it was the center of my teasing and bullying during childhood. I guess that's maturity. When you're at a stage where mediocre thing doesn't affect you anymore but instead brings out that level of awareness and humor. Now I look back and laugh. I hope you're laughing too. My inner child how have you been? You had to grow up so fast but I still hope that you embrace your youth. We're still young and forever learning might as well keep your boyish charm and not grow wrinkles before time. I'm in tune with who I am, and regardless of the issues faced today I won't forget that. We've lost someone valuable to us, but together we will be alright.

Live, love, laugh

Dwhyte

Dwhyte placed the paper in his pocket, folded neatly, he hugged the sleeping woman mentally prepared himself for the road tomorrow. Catherine had business to take care of, she was a busy lady. She offered company but he couldn't allow her to witness all the tears he was bound to shed tomorrow. He rested against the cotton pillows, eyes closed instantaneously.

Bright and early, like an alarm clock, a sweet and pleasant alarm clock. Dwhyte woke with a trail of kisses on his neck. Catherine sat on his lap, he rejected the urge to grunt as the tenderness was still present but he just wasn't ready to mention anything to her. After he was discharged, she was quick to request him spend the night with her. Her body warm, her morning mood very pleasant. The sun shone through the curtains which made it easy to see through the thin night dress. Her waist snatched as she grounded herself against him, he unconsciously reached for her.

Dwhyte kissed that smooth spot over her breast, as he felt her weight shifted.

"Morning baby." She muttered against his neck, her faint coconut scent- must've rubbed off the sheets, he trapped her.

"Right back at you." He pulled her down into a hug, his firm hands played with her hair. Other than her hips and face, it was another breath taking feature of her. He looked up her, her hair glowing in the morning sun, thick and shiny.

She pulled the strings of his shorts and smiled at his morning pecker, he embarrassedly slapped her playfully as she rolled off him. The small bruise or birthmark stared right back at her, Dwhyte teased when the room got awkward.

"Quit playing." Dwhyte laughed, well, both. She got off the bed and urged him too. He watched her as she effortlessly pulled her hair in a bun.

"Remember that you'll be travelling. Please don't be late." he nodded and straightened the sheets, disappointment that he couldn't get to spend much time with her. But he was glad that he spoke to her about his travel. Dwhyte told her of his mom's passing and was going to attend the funeral very soon. She was consistent on him being prepared and of course, she offered her condolences.

"Have you gotten everything sorted?"

"Yea. Already set." He changed into his original clothes and freshened up into the bathroom. Dwhyte came out smiling. His hair slightly damp. "I thought you were going to have breakfast."

"I'm trying to catch the bus. Maybe another time."

He kissed her cheek a final time. Catherine Espionosa adorably puffed, she acted as if she didn't care but the disappointment was obvious.

"You're taking the bus? Why?"

Drian took the car. It was a gift from her- which is petty as a matter of fact. Plus, he didn't think he was well enough to be around the steering.

"I'll call you soon." She nodded as she watched him leave, only prayed that all went well for him. She saw the change. Dwhyte was a secretive man and she vowed to break down all those walls he was building up.