A C C I S M U S| 18+ (haitus)

ACCISMUS~ CHAPTER 38- RANT

He didn't know why he said it.

Maybe he was being impulsive. Maybe it was intrusive. What was the difference? Maybe he was too caught up in the moment and somewhere in the back of his mind was telling him that it wasn't a good idea but instead he still did.

Maybe it's the fact that I'm in love with you.

His words again manifested itself in his mind, Dwhyte's heart dropped to the pit of his stomach.

Her body went rigid against his and suddenly her weight lifted. He gasped and the sudden position made his heart stop, again for a second time, as he face palmed. It was a risky and bold move, yet he went along with it, not caring of the effect it would've had on him- on them.

"Say something."

He remembered asking, the nervousness could knock him over like a ton of bricks.

"Please. Please say something."

Catherine hadn't said anything that night and even when he literally begged her to. Maybe if she was blunt and said that she wasn't interested it would've hurt less than the quietness. The silence was harsh and it made his reality very depressing. She got up quick, all her warmth gone and instead she made it quick for the door. Her eyes wide as if she'd heard a bad news.

She didn't bother to spend the night with him like she normally did, but instead left- with an excuse that she would have a big day ahead of her tomorrow and needed the rest. No good bye, kiss, nothing.

This silent treatment was worse than Drian's. He sat at the table crowded it was but he felt lonely. With his thoughts, again, he had started to compare this situation with the last. He compared her to Drian and the result were heartbreaking. Drian didn't stay in the room with him when she was mad, but Catherine; they were in the same space and still she hadn't even acknowledged him. She did everything but looked at him. She stretched, she spoke across him but her eyes never met his, not even once.

He couldn't read her.

He felt stupid and he could hear Drian's voice in his head mocking him. That day he packed when they had confirmed everything at Kennedy's and then he found himself on the plane. His acrophobia was on for another time; he was anxious. The music didn't soothe him one bit even though it was an entire playlist of his favorite songs. Catherine didn't bother to check on him. That was a sign of her contempt. And Blake was too deep into chatting with him that he didn't even realize that he had zone out. All Dwhyte did was nodded and the man left with a smile to the group.

See, this is what you get for not listening.

This was his second heartbreak in just a year. The music blasted, his ears ringing but he paid no mind to it as a wave of nausea overcame him but he knew it was his anxiety. He tucked his face in his shirt and tried to take deep breaths and just when he felt like everything was fine again, he resorted to laying down.

Senseless ass.

Nah, cause you thought she actually liked you?

Someone liked you?

Your own wife didn't like you what made you think-

"Stop." He muttered to himself. The voices in his head was too much, he just couldn't take it. He finally found the courage to close his eyes, and just like that he fell asleep.

Catherine glanced over his way a few times and frowned when she saw him. Tears threatened to spills but she had to keep her emotions at bay until it all passed over. She couldn't risk the group suspecting anything even worst that Dwhyte didn't come over not once. She knew they were suspicious but she just didn't bother.