Rules ⇝ Toto Wolff

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 30

♬ They'll never take those long summer days
When love was untamed ♬

Grace Bauer POV

Preparing for the goodbye seemed like my personal hell. I've fucked up, I fell in love with someone I knew damn well I couldn't have. He would never love me back, I don't know what this meant for him but he would never ask me to stay, maybe it's the age gap, maybe he just isn't in love. I don't know if I want to know why. Why won't he take that chance? Maybe he has the same reasons as me, maybe he just knows it wouldn't work. It worked now because it was temporary.

Was I just a charity case? I don't think so. I think some parts of this were very real. But not real enough.

"The flight leaves by 3 PM. There is enough time for you to enjoy the party, your driver just took another world record down" I say as silence has settled between us for more time than I am comfortable with.

"I congratulated him, look at all , team celebrating, they deserve it. I have made a speech and I think I look pretty pleased" He says and I look at his face.

"You seem like you just hit your pinky toe on the table as you walked by. Or like you stepped on a Lego. You don't seem happy" I say as I laugh and he laughs too.

"You are leaving tomorrow. Forgive me if I'm not in the best state of mind to celebrate anything today. My mind seems to always travel into the future and what tomorrow has to come" He says looking into my eyes and I am now in shock. I never thought he would admit it.

"You will be fine. I don't need a ride to the airport if that's what bothering you. I can call a cab" I try to see if I could possibly get more information but I don't think it will be the case here.

"Do you think that will be the hardest part? We are really out of synch lately" He says with hint of bitterness and I nod.

"We will always be out of synch outside of a bedroom. You gave your perfectly understandable reasons for why this is happening. A deal was made, I will leave tomorrow as promised, we ended what I've started. I didn't think about consequences but I can deal with whatever there is to come. There is no reason to talk about this anymore. I need you to take me to the airport and that is it" I say kind of angrily.

I am angry that I love him so much and I can't even say it to him. I couldn't deal with the rejection. I look at him and I just want to stay. But I don't want to beg. I don't want to beg for a title, I don't want to beg for love or a baby. I can't live like that. I would do it all with him if he loved me back, and if he accepted that age is just a number in our case. But he won't because he is stubborn.

"We will talk about this. This is not ended. I didn't end shit. It doesn't work like that" He says obviously mad and I laugh.

"Do you think we haven't slept in the same bed for weeks because we were still a thing? We aren't. It's over. It had to end. There is nothing else to talk about" I stand up from the high chair before I regret my actions and I prepare to leave the nightclub they rented.

"Stop! Please, just stop. Don't do this to us. Allow me to have a conversation with you, this is not fair. You checked out weeks ago but this isn't how I do things" He was begging me, his eyes showed me exactly that. His hand never touched me though, he never stopped me from leaving as most would have.

"We can talk when we get out of here" I say and he nods as his body clearly relaxed.

I went to find some of the women I've befriended during this season and we were having a blast. I saw Toto as he talked to Lewis and Valtteri while having some fun, he had a few drinks but not enough for him to stop looking at me. Everyone at Mercedes thought we were genuine, only Lewis, Valtteri and Angela knew what was happening behind the scenes.

"I am so glad you crossed his path. He is so happy since you came along, and he is such a gentleman, you are both so good together. I can't imagine a better couple" One of the girls says and I nod.

"He is a good man. Anyone would be lucky to have him" I tried to smile but I felt the lump in my throat and I am not going to cry because of this.

I am leaving, I can't cry at the thought of him with someone else, I know he will move on eventually. He is such a private person that I will never know if he is with someone, maybe when he finds the one and marries her.

"I'm going to the ladies room" I say as I got up and she nods.

"I would go with you but the boss is calling" She points at her superior in the department and I nod.

"Don't worry about it, I can survive a trip to the bathroom alone" I jokingly say as we go our own ways. I held my tears back and only allowed them out once I entered the stall.

I took some deep breaths, flushed the toilet, and got out. I looked at myself in the mirror, I washed my face and didn't even bother to redo my makeup, it was so light that I dthink it would be noticeable. I look for my lipstick and insult myself for having so much stuff in such a tiny purse. I looked into the mirror to reapply the lipstick and I let it drop instantly.