𝐓𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 ² || 𝒋𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒂𝒉 𝒇𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒓

𝟏𝟏

𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫. The door swung open before we could get to it and in walked Steven and Taylor. 

"Uh, hi?" Conrad said tentatively and Steven stood awkwardly in the door for a second before scanning the scene in front of him. 

Conrad looked like he was ready to bolt, Jeremiah still had an arm over my shoulder but we were definitely leaving, and his sister was sitting in the kitchen behind us, her arms crossed over her chest. 

 "Are we interrup- I told you we should've texted," he cut himself off to talk to Taylor, it did nothing to ease the tension.

"My aunt is selling the house," Con deadpanned and Steven's eyes widened comically.

"We were just headed out to get groceries," Jeremiah added semi-helpfully and Steven took that opportunity to switch topics.

"Oh sweet, are we all going?" he asked and I felt Jer glance down at me before looking towards Steven.

"Actually I think Ken and I can do it, Con's going to Nicole's, so you guys could hangout here or something. Enjoy it while we can," Jer supplied and I started to feel all warm inside at the prospect of being alone with my boyfriend on his own accord. It was short-lived though, when I remembered that this was in fact very minimal progress and the bare minimum. 

"That's totally fine," Steven and went in to give me a hug. I dipped out of Jer's hold and hugged him. "Missed you Ken, how've you been doing?" he asked and I shrugged.

"Not the best, but it's okay. Congrats on Princeton by the way, proud of you," I replied and he smiled.

"I'm not the only ivy-goer here," he reminded me and I grinned. "Yale is insane Ken," Steven gave me another hug and then said bye to us as we left. 

All I could think was, how did he hit more meaningful points with me in two sentences than Jeremiah did during the last 5 months?

I could tell my boyfriend was thinking the same thing because he kept glancing at me, trying to read my thoughts or get me to spill my deepest darkest secrets or something.

"What?" I asked as he glanced at me for the 10th time in the first minute of our drive. 

"Why'd you put up with me for so long?" he asked after a second of thought recollection and a sad smile took over my face.

"I love you and I care about you. I can't imagine life without you," I replied simply and he didn't know what to do with himself. I was driving so there really wasn't anyway for him to physically comfort me. I decided to just rest a hand on his thigh to make sure he knew I was there and that this was real.

He's had similar problems that I've been having since Susannah's death. A lot of dissociation and trouble differentiating reality from non-reality. I kind of just powered through mine initially, I think it was a trauma response to protect him and put him before myself. This is probably part of why I'm having so much trouble with him not prioritizing me, because it's such a major part of how I've been living for months.

His hand almost instantly covered mine, intertwining his over the top of mine and I tried to pull myself out of my head. Jeremiah picked up my hand and kissed my palm and then put our hands back on his leg.

"You're everything I've ever wanted Kendall. You're it, you always have been. I'm not leaving you alone until I prove it. My brain scrambles when I'm within a hundred feet of you, I can't think straight when I'm with you and you're all I think about when I'm not. I still get butterflies every time you smile at me, I get nervous when you look at me, and I get light headed when you tell me you love me. You're the sun in my life angel, I actually couldn't live without you, without your energy, without your laugh. I love you more than anything and I'm not letting you go that easily," Jeremiah said all of this while twisting the rings on my fingers and glancing between me and the rings.