𝐓𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 ² || 𝒋𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒂𝒉 𝒇𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒓

𝟐𝟒*

A/N || august – taylor
so it goes – taylor
roman...
also like 16+ when the warning pops up
it's not full on sex but like
also don't kill me 

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐉𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐚𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐞. 

"I fucked up– I shouldn't have done that, Nicole what do I do– I don't want him back, I don't– I can't–," I said frantically and on the verge of tears again and Nicole cut me off. 

"Woah woah– hey take a deep breath, tell me what happened," she said as she put her hands on my shoulders to get me to focus. 

"I– I told him I'd talk to him tomorrow. I'm just so fed up with this and I don't want any drama but I– I don't want this. I don't want him back and then I think too long and I miss him and want him back and I can't. I wish he never fucked it all up. I fucking hate him right now. He looks really good right now though, it's pissing me off. Why can't I ever do the right thing? Why is he here? Why does he keep trying? What if he does it again? Nicole– I can't even process anything. I can't tell if I want him back because of him or if it's because he's tied to Susannah. I wish I could just talk to her, she'd tell me what to do. She'd tell me to leave her son and never look back or she'd want me to work it out. I don't know– that's my problem, I don't know what to do. He's– I'm– I–" and I'm crying again. 

"Holy shit c'mere," she said and pulled me into a hug. "It's not a simple choice Ken. He's done a lot of fucked up shit, but he's also done a lot for you over the years and that's not easy to let go. I'm not saying that makes up for everything– far from it actually, he can't rely on that. Good and bad things don't just balance out. You two were together for a long time and you watched him change which fucking sucks. I can't, with a good conscience, tell you that you should go see him tomorrow because I've seen what it's done to your mental health. I've seen him tear you apart, but part of me knows how happy he made you when you were together. 

If it were anyone else I would tell you to skip it, never talk to him again, find someone better, but because it's him, I think you should go. Two years is a long time and at least if you have some semblance of closure you can heal properly. If he makes a fool out of himself you know that you're making the right choice, and if he doesn't, then you can reconsider your options. Whatever you do, I'll be right next to you okay? If he does anything stupid I'll deck him," she said and I managed to get myself to stop crying long enough to whisper an 'i love you' before I started to attempt to pull myself together. 

"I fucking hate him," I said with a watery laugh, trying to get the tears to stop.

"No you don't," Nicole whispered back and I cried a little harder. 

"Fuck," I stated and she hugged me closer.

"I love you, you're perfect and there's no rush. Everything will work out how it's meant to," she said comfortingly and I took a deep breath.

"Thank you for always being here Coco," I said and she smiled.

"Always and forever," she replied and I stopped hugging her to pull myself together. 

"I'm on breakdown two of the night," I joked and Nicole shook her head and fought back a smile.

"You would be on none if that motherfucker didn't show up," Nicole replied and I laughed.

"Yeah probably," I agreed and wiped the tears under my eyes, taking another deep breath to compose myself.

"You're gonna be fine k?" she stated as she wiped the mascara away from under my eyes. I didn't reply and she raised an eyebrow, "K?" she repeated and I smiled.