Our fallen souls [EN] (High Enough) : VOLUME 1

38 - Blake

I stand up hurriedly, feeling that my anger can't be contained any longer. I grab my things and head out of the room, feeling everyone's questioning gaze on me.

If I stay in this room, I'll kill him, so I'd better get out of here.

Outside, I lean against the wall, trying to catch my breath. I breathe deeply, trying to calm my nerves. But the image of Jo next to her ex, his words echoing in my head, haunt me. I feel powerless and enraged at the same time. I pick up another cigarette and light it, hoping the nicotine will ease my tension. I throw the butt to the ground and crush it under my shoe, but the anguish persists. Maybe I should walk away, protect myself from all this, from Jo and that damn ex who's tormenting her. But part of me can't let go. I feel connected to her in some inexplicable way, as if she's the only one who can understand the shell I've built for myself. A compact crowd pours outside, signaling the end of class. My mind gradually refocuses, my emotions calming slightly. But just as I'm trying to regain my composure, a shrill voice calls out from the distance.

"What's the matter with you, man?" says Kyle, approaching me provocatively.

Holy shit.

I feel adrenaline pumping through me, my fists clenching instinctively.

The crowd that has formed around us acts like it's a fucking show, eager to see the confrontation.

"Don't we want to share?" he snarls.

I bite my lip hard, smelling the metallic taste of blood.

"You're a good-for-nothing."

Kyle's scathing words echo through the air, awakening painful memories in me. For a brief moment, I see my father again. My breathing quickens, my muscles tense. I'm on the verge of exploding. I turn my gaze to the crowd, looking for an escape route, a way out of this tense situation. Then my eyes meet Jo's.

"Get out of here," I growl at Kyle, my fists clenching.

"You're not going to do anything," he replies with a fucking smirk on his face.

Jo bravely steps between us, trying to calm things down. No sooner does Jo position herself than Kyle shoves her roughly to the ground. I gasp for breath and widen my eyes, shocked by his violence. Seeing her manhandled like this makes me furious. A mixture of fear and fury seizes me.

"Oops," he says, looking at me.

My vision turns red and everything around me blurs. Rage boils inside me, and I don't care what happens next.

Without further thought, I throw myself at Kyle, letting all my anger explode. My fists come down hard on him, and each blow unleashes a part of my frustration. His blood flies, splattering the ground, but I don't stop. I feel as if I'm emptying myself of all the hatred I feel.

Kyle tries to defend himself, to fight back sometimes. Fury burns inside me, giving me a strength I never knew I had. The screams of the other students around us melt into a dull hum. I can't hear anything, I can only see him, the bastard who dared to hurt her.

Suddenly, I feel arms pulling me away from him. I'm beside myself, panting, short of breath. My burning gaze fixes on Kyle, who's trying to get up, his face bloodied.

"It's okay, stop," Shawn says in a firm voice.

I'm out of breath, my muscles are tense, and my hands are shaking with adrenaline. The anger gradually fades, giving way to a mixture of confused feelings. I feel both drained and filled with uncontrollable emotions.

"Next time you touch her, you're dead, you son of a bitch," I say to Kyle, staring him straight in the eye.

Jo struggles to her feet, helped by Cassie. Her face is scarred with pain and her hands are bloody. The snow on the ground is now tinged with red. I don't know if it's mine or Jo's. I want to ask her if she's all right. I want to ask her if she's all right, but the words catch in my throat. My heart sinks as I see the wounds she's sustained. Tears threaten to fall, but I stop myself from letting them escape.

"Come on," Shawn says, gently taking my arm.

"I've got to be there for her," I say in a trembling voice.

"I know, but you can't help yourself right now, Blake. Let us take care of her, we'll look after her."

I know he's right, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept. I nod resignedly, releasing myself from his grip.

"Please take care of her," I say simply, unable to say more.

Shawn nods. He's clearly understood how much this fucking girl means to me, and in that split second, he seems ready to accept it. I watch them walk away, Cassie supporting Jo as they head for the infirmary. My heart sinks at the sight of Jo's injuries, and I feel fucking helpless in the face of this brutal reality that hits me full force. I would have given anything to stop it, to protect her from this shit, but here I am, unable to do anything. The icy cold of winter penetrates my clothes, but I don't give a damn. My mind is in turmoil, drowning in a mess of emotions, regrets and goddamn anger. My fists are clenched, my jaws are clenched, oscillating between the desire to smash everything and the need to be close to her. I decide to go home, to put some distance between myself and this fucking scene of chaos. Walking with heavy steps in the snow, I try to calm my tormented mind. Emotions rush through me, and every step brings me back to those images of Jo, wounded and vulnerable. Rage and guilt mix in a devastating cocktail.

Arriving home, I collapse on the sofa, letting out an emotionally charged sigh. I stare at the ceiling for a moment, letting my thoughts run wild in a hellish tumult. My mind replayed the events, the words exchanged, the blows struck. Frustration and despair surge through me, and I feel like screaming my fucking anger at the world.

Shit, it's all gone to shit because of his goddamn "best friend", then his fucked-up ex.

I knew it, from the morning on, this day would be chaotic, but I couldn't hold back. Anger gripped me, drove me to act out of control. Now I know it's only going to make things worse. She's going to be even more afraid of me, just as I am of myself.

Fuck, I never thought I'd be able to put someone in this state.

This girl is driving me crazy. My heart sways between the love I feel for her and the damn rage that consumes me from the inside. I don't know how to deal with it anymore, how to keep control of my emotions. I've got to find a way to calm down, to channel this fucking anger, otherwise I'm going to fuck everything up. I have no right to hurt her, not after everything she's already been through.