Our fallen souls [EN] (High Enough) : VOLUME 1

49 - Joey

The afternoon fades into the night as I sit on the landing of the residence, deep in thought. The pebbles I had picked up earlier slip from my fingers, escaping into the surrounding darkness. My mind is restless, juggling the questions that plague me and the choices I face.

"Think about it, Joey," I say to myself in a low voice.

I know that this meeting with Blake is inevitable, that I must face the wolf to get the answers I seek. Despite the fear that grips me, a fierce determination pushes me forward. Suddenly, footsteps sound, rapidly closing in on me. A man appears, concealed beneath a hood, but his curly hair sticks out slightly from the shadows. My heart races as his features take shape before me, revealing a cold, haughty face.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he snaps.

"Good to see you, Blake," I retort. "Or should I say the leader of a bunch of sickos."

I notice his eyebrows furrow, a sign that my words have got to him, but he tries to hide any emotion. He raises his eyes to the sky, wearing a smile tinged with irony.

"I should have known. You're so desperate to get Joséphine back that you've stuck your nose into everything."

I don't let it faze me and smile, while maintaining a mask of firmness. "Exactly. Does she know what you're doing?"

"No, she doesn't."

My smile fades, replaced by a flicker of anger. "Don't you feel any remorse? Are you serious?"

Blake approaches me, the two worlds we embody seeming to face each other, separated by an unbridgeable chasm. "Yes, more than you know."

"You know she loves you, and it would destroy her to discover all the secrets you're keeping from her."

"She's involuntarily involved! She's been part of this from the start. You'd know if you really knew her," he retorts, approaching me again.

I freeze, not knowing what to make of this disturbing revelation.

"Her family secrets, her links with this obscure milieu, her...," he begins, but I cut him off with an annoyed gesture.

"Stop, for God's sake! His family has nothing to do with it, and his uncle would never hide anything from him."

"Oh yeah? Then go back to the guy you lied to earlier, John. But I warn you, he won't welcome you in the same way," he says before trying to escape, but I hold him back firmly.

My gaze plants itself in his, searching for an ounce of understanding in his impenetrable eyes. "I suppose now that I know too much, you're going to send me your bullshit boys?" I ask him, dreading his answer.

He closes his eyes and drops heavily onto a staircase step. His hands rest on his temples, as if trying to relieve a growing migraine. "You're her goddamn best friend, and even though you screwed her over, she still cares about you. I wouldn't hurt someone she loves. It's ironic, isn't it?" he murmurs, revealing a surprising vulnerability.

The weight on my shoulders eases slightly at these words. He really seems to care about her, which reassures me. I'm sure Joséphine is safe with him, but I can't be satisfied with half-truths.

"Then let me into your stupid world," I insist, determination in my voice. "I need to know what's going on to protect her, and I know that if I don't get into your shit, I won't see her again. I won't be able to come back to Seattle without someone breaking my legs."

"I would have given you a chance if you hadn't kissed her," he says, icing the atmosphere.

"It was a mistake, I was drunk."

"It's often like that," he retorts dismissively.

I feel my heart racing, but I refuse to back down. I've got to do something to protect Joséphine, even if it means getting involved in this twisted world.

"If you won't let me join your gang to protect her, I'll tell him everything," I declare, taking a step towards him.

This time, my ultimatum seems to surprise him. He lets out a resigned sigh, a sign that I've cornered him. "You're playing with fire," he warns, his gaze still filled with mistrust.

"I know what I'm doing," I reply, a hint of audacity in my voice.

A silent exchange ensues between us.

"What are you prepared to do for her?" I ask softly, trying to break through the shell that surrounds him.

"Absolutely anything," he answers without hesitation.

I smile slightly, because I know we share the same conviction. "So that's it, you're getting me into your group," I declare.

"I didn't say I was taking you."

He comes and grabs his face between his hands, as if he wants to concentrate on his thoughts. He doesn't really have a choice: if he doesn't want me to die, he's got to get me into his bloody group. He knows it.

"You know where the bar is, what we do and who my guys are," he says. "I have no choice but to include you. If you open it, you'll be involved as much as we are."

I sigh.

"However, I forbid you to go near Joséphine. I don't trust you right now."

"I won't betray. It's a question of values."

He seems to ponder my words for a moment before resuming.

"You know, I only accept you into my gang because Joséphine cares about you and I don't want you to die. We're not friends, we're colleagues."

He stands up and walks around me, sizing up my determination.

"Try to be at the bar every night. No need to call the cops if you were thinking about it. We're not playing with a gang, but I'll try to look after you because she cares about you. But only for that."

He takes a step toward the stairs, but stops abruptly.

"I need you to prove yourself first, and I need to know that you're someone I can trust and that you can stand up for yourself."

"If I wasn't trustworthy, I'd have turned you in already, and I know how to defend myself," I reply confidently.

A smirk appears on his face. He sighs, then declares, "Yeah, we'll see about that."

Without another word, he turns and walks away.

I return to the hotel completely disoriented, ideas whirling around in my head like a crazy merry-go-round.

So me, Joey, I'm part of a goddamn gang now?

I still can't believe it.

I walk slowly through the streets, as if time has frozen around me. I never thought my life would take such a turn, but I know I can't go back now. Joséphine means too much to me.

What the hell have you gotten yourself into, Joey?

I know I could drop everything and go far away, run away from this story. But no, I can't abandon Joséphine. She deserves to be protected, and I'm willing to do anything for that, even if it means being an accomplice in their trafficking to protect the man she loves, to avoid destroying her as much as possible. But the truth will come out one day. And when Joséphine finds out what I'm doing, she'll be devastated. Maybe she'll never want to speak to me again. And Blake, he's in the same mess. His world of secrets and lies will eventually blow up in his face. In the meantime, I've got to keep a straight face and be discreet. I have to show Blake that I can fit in, that I can play their game. It's the only way to gain his trust and get closer to him to better protect Jo.