Our fallen souls [EN] (High Enough) : VOLUME 1

40 - Joséphine

Outside, the bitter cold envelops the atmosphere as the snow continues to fall. The sky is dotted with white and gray clouds, creating a wintry atmosphere. The streets of downtown are illuminated by twinkling Christmas lights, providing a warm atmosphere despite the freezing temperatures. Passers-by stop in front of colorful shop windows brimming with discounts on Christmas gifts. Children marvel at the toys displayed behind the windows, awakening a sense of happiness and wonder in me.

"Let's go," declares Cassie enthusiastically.

I follow closely behind, continuing to admire the magnificent Christmas lights all around us. Joey rests his arm on my shoulder, creating a comforting connection between us. I notice that he, too, is marveling at the surrounding lights. We enter the first store and, after wandering through all the aisles, find nothing that really appeals to us. We decided to enter a boutique specializing in evening gowns. Cassie's and my eyes immediately light up at the multitude of choices on offer. Between the sequined dresses and the sober but elegant models, we lose our heads completely. My eye falls on a pastel pink dress that's quite form-fitting, but the neckline makes me hesitate.

Seeing my indecision, Joey suggests we try on different dresses in a fitting room while he makes suggestions. I opt for the first dress, a black version that stops in the middle of my thighs. However, it's far too short, and I show the result to Joey and Cassie, who nod in understanding of my reservations.

"No way, it's way too short," I tell them before they have time to comment.

Joey hands me a second dress, which this time is way too big.

"I'm swimming in it," I remark as I take it off.

I hear an exasperated sigh from Joey behind the red curtain. Moments later, he presents me with the dress I'd spotted. I put it on and look in the mirror. The girl in front of me is unrecognizable. The dress comes to the middle of my thighs, and the neckline shows off my breasts to best advantage. Joey was kind enough to choose a pair of matching pumps. I slip them on and admire myself from every angle for a few moments. The belt of the dress emphasizes my waist in a flattering way. I feel transformed, like a completely different person.

"Come on, let's see it!" Cassie says impatiently. I pull aside the curtain, revealing my outfit. Cassie and Joey's eyes widen in surprise. This makes me slightly uncomfortable.

"So?" I ask to end the awkward moment.

"You look perfect in that dress," Joey compliments enthusiastically.

"I couldn't agree more," agrees Cassie.

Cassie, as adept as ever at finding the perfect outfit, has found a gorgeous black sequined dress that shows off her figure to her knees. The reflections of the lights danced on the sequins, adding a touch of glamour to her outfit.

Finally, spurred on by the enthusiastic reviews, I decide to take the plunge and buy the pastel pink dress. I was won over by the idea of standing out in an outfit that took me out of my usual comfort zone. After all, Cassie's birthday is a special occasion, and I want to live up to the hype. Cassie, still smiling and excited about her own purchase, heads to the checkout to pay for her dress. I join her, reassured to have her by my side in this somewhat unusual shopping experience for me.

*

Fresh air greets us outside the store, reminding us that we're back in reality. We head home, arms full of bags containing our shopping. This afternoon of shopping has really paid off for me, giving me a welcome break from my daily routine.

Joey accompanies me to my door, wearing his teasing smile that says it all. I mischievously wish him luck before he slips away to join his "friend", of whom he has nothing but praise. I settle comfortably on the sofa, bags spread out beside me, computer resting on my lap. I open my browser and carefully scan the university syllabus, perusing the various upcoming courses and exams. Tension rises slightly as I check the dates, mentally planning the weeks ahead.

I grab my phone and immerse myself in the intricacies of social networking to try and catch my breath. That's when I notice that Blake has posted a new photo on his profile. He's captured in a moment of complicity with a girl I don't recognize, and behind them, a group of boys I've never seen before. Blake's hands are resting on this girl's hips, and the image freezes the moment in an intimacy that strikes me violently. An uneasy feeling overcomes me and I abruptly put my phone down on the table, as if I needed to get away from it to avoid this disturbing reality. Questions swirl in my mind.

Who is this girl? Why does Blake seem so close to her?

I try to keep calm, to rationalize the situation. After all, Blake has the right to date other people and make new friends. We're not a couple, and there's no reason for me to feel hurt by this photo. I retrieve my phone and re-examine the photo. His hands are still bruised, indicating that the photo was taken today. I notice that he's not really smiling, as usual. An unpleasant sensation runs through me, accentuating my unease at the situation.

I'm seeing red, damn it.

How could I have let myself be fooled into thinking he could love me, even for a moment?