Sweet Love (NG5)

15 - Blacklisted

APRIL

Things happened over the next few weeks, but none were good. If possible things kept getting worse. Joe was a nice guy and he and his invisible shovel were digging her out of a hole. It would never be right, but at least she wouldn't get buried alive.

Kat discovered the restaurant community was close knit the hard way. As she applied for jobs all over the city, they turned her down without an interview. A friend from her old job confirmed. "Everyone knows you defaulted on vendors. No one will risk hiring you and losing their vendors."

Why would they turn away business just because she worked in a kitchen? Unemployed, she sat in her parents' home feeling worthless. She baked, but her mother complained about gaining weight.

She spent hours looking at the photos in the shoebox. Sometimes she talked to Pops, wishing he were still alive. Tears dripped down her cheek. Kitty Kat, you've got to pull yourself up and go on. Think outside the box. Box. Photos. Coffin. None of the above would get her back in a kitchen doing what she loved.

George had landed a job, which eased some guilt. He had kids to feed. The front of the house was Bryce's staff. She didn't care where they ended up. According to Donny, a lot of the staff got high after hours. "I thought you knew, chef."

Hell no. She couldn't blame the kid. By starting over in a new kitchen, he had lost his hope of advancing. She figured her former staff spread half the rumors. It didn't matter, because whoever was to blame she was still blackballed in Boston.

The only silver lining was Bryce left a text, because she refused to take his calls, that he was moving out of the apartment. He offered her anything she wanted. She wanted the new mattress she bought after the restaurant's initial success along with the sofa. Fuck it, she would take his TV. The night her life changed, they had taken baking equipment and supplies along with her clothes. Thankfully, Bryce hadn't been home when her father went with her. Seth Cousins was a gentle man, but his anger had peaked and he had been looking for a fight.

Building a life took a lot longer than unraveling one. For nine years, she and Bryce had moved towards each other, but the tenth year he moved away from her and she was too stupid to notice. In truth, she had been too busy to see. Work, sleep, work had been her pattern for months. They hardly saw each other at the restaurant and she thought he missed her. In retrospect, he had missed nothing but the pain pills and whatever else he bought with stolen funds. Trust eroded. She would never trust again.

Once the unraveling started, it didn't stop. After working nonstop, she had days with nothing to do but apply for jobs she would never get. She even tried some bakeries hoping they were outside the rumor mill, but she was overqualified.

Ramona frowned at her as she sat in front of the TV watching cartoons. "You can't waste your life away."

"My life imploded. I have no life."

Her mother shook her head. Kat braced herself for her mother's diatribe of lies about how she never trusted Bryce. "A failed relationship and business feels like a lot, but your life is more than that. You pick up the pieces and go on."

"It was my dream, not just my business."

"You'll have other dreams. You are young."

"Too young to be blacklisted."

"Look outside Boston."

Kat sighed. "You want me to move out?"

Ramona shook her head. "I want you to move off this couch. Do something. Go for a walk."

She looked at her mother. A walk took energy she didn't have. Plus, with her luck she would break a limb on the snow-covered sidewalk. Physical pain might push away the pain of failure, betrayal, humiliation. "I'll do something tomorrow."