I'll need a vacuum.

35

Everything started simultaneously, and the situation degenerated in an instant. I barely had time to shout "go away" to the young man when I felt my power swell in my chest. The process of destruction was launched and could not be stopped. I just hoped it was content to eliminate me, not my visitor. As these thoughts raced through my mind, the young man stared at me, and his face suddenly creased in horror. I couldn't understand his words, but suddenly, a gigantic and monstrous curse appeared in front of me. Its threat was such that I froze in place and felt my power waver. The curse loomed over me, a misshapen, oddly humanoid figure, screaming in a female voice threatening me. The young man was trying to get away from me, in a desperate attitude, and I understood then that he was trying to attract the curse away from me, in order to protect me. It was the first time this had happened to me ! I realized then that the curse was attached to this guy and that they were somehow related.
My thoughts were interrupted by a sudden pain in my chest: the power that was supposed to destroy me from within was trying to come out of me, reacting to the presence of the curse. It was catastrophic : my power, usually reacting to the cursed energy of curses by devastating everything in its path, was turned towards myself, and a struggle between my will to die, and that unconscious of my power committed to protect myself erupted. My energy was split in two, opposing itself in a duel of wills that was beyond my control. I was focused on what was going on inside of me and didn't see the curse hitting me. I was rolling in the damp grass completely stunned, my chest still humming with the battle inside. An infernal tension swelled in my chest and I felt like I was going to explode. I scrambled to my feet, haggard in the middle of the moonlit glade, to watch a young boy kiss a disgusting curse. I didn't react to this scene, I was only vaguely conscious because the whirlwind of energy inside my body suddenly shorted me. Everything went black and I collapsed, hoping I had succeeded to die.

I woke up in the infirmary, in front of a very worried Shoko, who felt my forehead. I still felt a little bad but nothing to do with the pain of knowing I was still alive.

"How are you feeling ?"

"Bad."

" What do you mean by that ? "

I watched Shoko, and didn't know if I should tell her the truth. It was then that the reality of my action hit me hard, and I realized that I had really just tried to kill myself. I was determined to die a few moments ago !? My body broke out in a cold sweat and I started to cry. I couldn't believe it: I felt like I was coming back to my senses after a nightmarish period where I was no longer able to live. It was the first time I felt like dying, and I was terrified that I had almost succeeded. If the young man had not been there, I would have ended my life.
It took a lot of courage for me to explain this to Shoko, who squeezed my hand harder and harder as my rambling, sniffling tale progressed. I was stunned by this sudden reversal of attitude, I had the impression that the cloud of depression that had weighed on my mind for weeks had suddenly disintegrated, finally letting me breathe. I realized how deep I had plunged into the dark waters of rapid depression and its deleterious effects. Having lost all my bearings had broken the guardrails that maintained my will to live and I was appalled to see how quickly my condition had deteriorated.
My finished explanation left Shoko pensive, and she got up, very preoccupied, to look for something. While I remained alone, still disturbed, I saw the young man slip into the room timidly and approach me then stop away from my bed. He looked terribly embarrassed and contrite. I broke the silence because his presence piqued my curiosity despite the quavers in my voice.

"Hi. Thanks for earlier."

He blinked, surprised. He didn't expect me to thank him for attacking me in the middle of the night. I tried to explain a little more.

" I.. if you hadn't been there, I would have committed suicide."

Saying it a second time hit me even harder. I cleared my throat to avoid bursting into tears again.