I'll need a vacuum.

58

After a long time, I finally calmed down and rested my head back on his shoulder. My back rested against his chest and he held me in his arms, and we both sat on the sofa comfortably. I took a deep breath before laughing a little.

"Sorry, once again I spend my time crying when I'm with you. I still don't understand how you could fall in love with me when you always see me at my worst."

Nanami tilted his head close to mine and gently rubbed the tip of his nose against my cheek.

" I don't know when exactly it happened, but I know when I realized it."

My eyes turned to him, despite the position that made it difficult for me to look at him.

"Oh really ? When was it ?"

" Do you remember when you came here the first time, to teach me how to bake bread ? You broke down mentally and we ended up there, on that same sofa."

I frowned, I remembered it perfectly well and I was annoyed to see that I still hadn't moved on. Shit, I was still at the same point, crying and moping, how could be it possible ??! I had to do something to get better urgently ! There was an emergency!

"Yes, I remember."

His hand left my hip to caress my cheek very slowly as he stared into my eyes.

"You did the same to me. I must have had flour or something, and you stroked my cheek so tenderly it felt weird. I felt like I had a hot air bubble growing inside my belly and I didn't dare tell you to continue. I.. that's when I felt that you had an impact on me much stronger than I thought."

He broke contact, and rested his head on my shoulder.

" I spent the rest of the evening trying to understand what these emotions were and yelling at myself, because I refused to fall in love. Besides, you weren't well at all, and I didn't want to oppress you with my feelings. In fact, I think they developed little by little, during our trainings together, but that's when I felt the tipping point."

I put my hand on his to shake it, because the touch reassured me. He intertwined his fingers with mine.

"I also think it's because you were the first person to touch me in a long time. I'm not tactile, let alone with my friends, unlike Gojo who is to clingy for my taste, yet I found myself hugging you several times to console you. I don't know why I did that, it was not in my habits.. . I couldn't leave you like this, all lost and trembling, while your whole life was falling apart."

He lifted our intertwined hands, resting them on my stomach as he hugged me tighter.

"I didn't think that a caress on the cheek could disturb me so much, but it awakened a lot of things in me. Childhood memories, and just the lack of human contact, which I didn't know I felt the lack of. That's why now I hug you as much as I can. I.. to imagine that I can no longer feel your warmth, your scent, your touch.. it drove me mad with sadness.. ."

He nuzzled his nose into my hair, moving his head slowly.

"You have no idea how happy I am to be able to do this now. I still can't believe I got a second chance. I almost lost you three times though, and I can't forgive myself. I'm sorry you had to go through this so many times, but I'm also relieved to see you so resilient."

I heard him laugh, which made my head vibrate oddly. Strange feeling, but I liked it, because he was laughing.

" You must have a lucky star despite your curse, Molly. No one could have survived this kind of situation so many times. And I thank Heaven every day for having you close to me."

I felt a soft warmth run through me hearing him be so relieved to know I was alive, and it calmed my existential fears. I still hoped that my curse would never reach him, I didn't want to see my loved ones dropping like flies because of it.