Bloodied Bunny || Ghost x Konig x Reader (she/her)

22

Y/N,

This will probably come off as odd, but I wish you the best of luck on your exams and tell the others that I wish them the best as well.

Come back to us alive.

Price

Testing the paper between my fingers, I stare at those words. "Come back to us alive," my hands start to tremble against my will. What does that mean? What has Scar done? But that's the least of my concerns. My blood runs cold as millions of questions flood through me, what does this mean for everyone? Ghost, König, Keegan, Soap, Isobel, Riley. Everyone. It'll be my job to make sure everyone survives, but what if I can't? I've never led before. Not really.

God, I'm really starting to wish I'd left the letter alone. At least then, I might be able to sleep, might be able to pretend everything will be okay and that Rowan was exaggerating when he said don't die... No, this warning is from Price.

I hate this. I hate not knowing. This whole stupid day has felt like the world subtly targeting me; telling me I'm not worthy of the trust others place in me. But what if I get them killed? Sure, I already have blood on my hands – my old allies' blood – but... I don't think I'll cope if their blood's on my hands too.

I can feel my chest tightening. I can feel the panic spreading but I can't stop it. If they were to die because of me... Ice-cold panic. I need to start planning. I need to go snooping, I need to find out what the tasks are; I need to plan for them accordingly. I...

"Relax," König takes the dreaded paper from me and hands it to Ghost as he kneels at my feet.

Ghost is next to sit in front of me, his eyes plastered with worry. Whether it's worry for me or worry for the exams, I can't tell. I'm only vaguely aware of their movements. I'm too lost in my doubts, worries and whatever else to care where they are but I know they're looking at me. I can feel it. Slamming my eyes shut, I try to contain myself. I'm trembling; I'm showing weakness and they're watching. I need to get my shit together and fast, panicking isn't going to save anyone. I need to stop this. My blood's running cold from all this panic and I don't even know if I'm breathing anymore. It doesn't feel like I am. The sweat dripping down the back of my neck is nothing but cold.

Warmth. There's warmth on my hands? Forcing my eyes to see the world – not my thoughts – I look down to see König's hands covering my trembling ones. The warmth is his.

"I-It seemed like a caring message, what's got you so freaked?" König stutters a little before regaining some confidence in his caring tone. Though his accent fills his words, the tone is so soft and so warm. I focus on that warmth, using it to pull me back to the present.

I can do this. I have to.

Admittedly, I have the most experience out of my friends; it makes sense they'd want me to lead. And... I've been good at making theoretical plans and even some in pracs. It doesn't matter if I don't want to, I'm their best bet. Just like I'm Scars...

I shake my head but I can't muster the words. It was a warning, I know that damn well.

"Our lives aren't your responsibility," Ghost's tone is unnervingly soft, too. If it wasn't for his intense stare, I think I might've forgotten he was there, since he's being so quiet. But no, he's reading my mind again; I hate that he does that. That he always knows. But, that's what I get for letting him in, I guess. Even if it wasn't my intention. It'd be more accurate to say he barged his way in.

Quietly, I mumble, "It is if you trust me with them."

It is my responsibility.

Honestly, right now I wish more than anything that I hadn't asked them why they followed me because now, I can't deny that they do. I can't pretend like someone else will take the role if I stay back for long enough. They want me to lead them; their lives are my responsibility. Their deaths will be, too.

"Then I won't," Ghost declares gently. I can't tell what he means by that, I only hang my head low as I try to force myself to pretend. My new chant's become a plead for everything to be okay. For everyone to survive. If I can pretend everything's okay, I can believe it will be. Right?

Just as I'm starting to feel a little better, the weight starts setting in harder. It's overwhelming. My self-doubt's really playing up. The edges of my sight blacken just as they did when Hassan strangled me. Whether it's just my brain playing stupid tricks on me or not, I start to feel hands on me again. Not König's, nor Ghosts. The hands of men. Around my neck, around my waists, around my thighs; I feel it everywhere. Panic surges in my throat. I see nothing, but the feeling feels so... Real. I want to grab my knives and cut the hands away, but I can't. I can't do anything but stare in horror.

Pulling me off the bed, König wraps his arms around me as he presses me into his chest and on his lap. Terror shreds through me as I push against him with trembling limbs. Not again.

Not again. Not again. Never again.

"You're okay. No one is going to hurt you," he speaks soothingly as I continue to fight against him, no longer aware of anything other than my own fear. I don't want to be touched, I repeat it over and over in my panicked head, yet I can't muster the words aloud. I don't want to be touched. I don't want to be touched. 

Please help me.

Lifting a hand to my head, König begins to stroke my hair. "You're safe," he insists.

A while passes agonisingly as I fail to claw my way out of his arms and I relent. I let my body fall against his with no resistance and close my eyes, feeling his warmth spread through me in a thin wave of calm as my hands fist his shirt.

"You're safe, Y/N," König repeats once more and this time, I might actually believe it.

A little embarrassed, I leave my head in König's chest, using his breathing as a gauge to calm mine. Ghost's backed away and when I turn my head, I watch his eyes glaze over coldly as he clenches his fists. His jaw is forced shut as I watch him grind his teeth against each other – looking like he's trying to force himself not to say something.

"I'm sorry," I mumble with heavy breaths. I shouldn't have freaked out like that. It was stupid, I scold myself. But more than anything, I'm worried I upset him.

Silently, Ghost nods and moves over to his makeshift bed and lays down. "Good night." He seems mad... But what did I do? I barely remember what happened after I read that damned letter, but I don't think I did anything wrong.

"Uh- Good night?" I stutter as my voice breaks. Looking over to König, he looks just as confused and then I realise, I'm still on his lap.

"Fuck, I- Sorry." My face is burning with embarrassment and I move off him. "You should- We should sleep," I stutter like there's no tomorrow and it only worsens my humiliation.

"R-Right," König stutters, sounding almost as embarrassed as I feel. But he gets up, moving in quick strides towards his bed. "Gute Nacht," his good night' is German, tonight.

A/N: Next update: 24th of Dec, 12:00 AM GMT+10