𝗨𝗡𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗬 𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬

018. 𝗦𝗡𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗬 𝗣𝗢𝗥𝗧

She couldn't sleep.

She sat up on her bed, sleeping beside izuku who insisted on staying with her for the night, she allowed it thinking it would help to close her eyes and be relieved someone was breathing next to her, but she was wrong, she couldn't take her eyes off the curtained window, fearing he would return to inspect the house again.

Holding her breath she stood up to her feet and slowly maneuvered in the dark to get to the living room, feeling the walls around her she kept her pace, feeling for a switch she fumbled to turn on the lights, squinting her eyes at the sudden brightness she walked towards the couch and fished out the knife she hid that morning, then she turned around to see if anything was amiss.

Everything in the dark remained a mystery and she didn't want to go into it.

Hoping izuku wouldn't wake up she quietly sat down on the sofa, eyeing the hallway and the rooms she could see from the lounge, she didn't move for a while until she heard a faint tapping on the window behind her, she knew she saw nothing when she entered but her reflects were faster and she hurried to take in the scene.

Finding nobody, she wondered if paranoia could cause a person to make up sounds in their head and believe it happened in real-time.

Her body relaxed for a bit and she bit her lip watching her reflection on the blank screen of the television, she looked like she was out to kill someone with the way she was gripping the knife in her hand and darting her eyes all around to find the intruder when there wasn't. Should she wake him up?

What was he going to do? Did he have sleeping pills somewhere? Even if she wanted to rest and sleep was evident in her eyes, her mind wouldn't shut up, and her survival instincts would flare up, having her be on defense day and night.

Standing up she walked to a corner where she remembered Izuku taking out some medication, soaking in the details of the labels on the boxes she picked out a couple of them and scanned through them. Eventually, she found it. Sleeping pills.

Smiling she grabbed a glass and filled it with water, chucking the pill in her mouth she gulped it down and tried to walk back to her room without looking anywhere, but she failed. She only meant to take a peek at the front door, walk past it, and return to bed, but as it turns out, she had lost total control over her paranoia and didn't have any other choice but to comfort herself with the fact that she saw nothing.

Putting her eye on the peephole, she observed the outside and found it empty, the lights were dimmed, and no soul was out and about, she remembered the voices she heard that morning and found herself in a stupor, she hadn't been out of the house for a while, let alone get out of her room, the fact that she's standing here is a miracle. The old her almost seemed like a dream, how she's diverted back to her old habits was disheartening.

Could she ever go outside? She doubted she could.

How is she supposed to go about her life?

She had to step back and draw in a deep breath, she didn't understand why tears automatically formed and flowed down her cheek, everything was ruined and she knew that, her job, her family, her livelihood.

Ironic how she's trapped in a different scenario with the same feelings as before. She didn't think of this house as a prison, but she's not exactly sure what she thinks of it, how she should feel about locking herself up voluntarily.

She wanted her young days back. Maybe then, her sister would be there to console her like she always used to. She always used to have a solution just for her.

"[Y/N] What's wrong, why are you crying?"

It's the one thing she feared hearing when she broke down in tears around her family, but if she had to pick, crying in front of her sister was the safest option.