mysterieus love

8

Martin

I just asked her about siblings and her whole face changes into extreme sadness. She's fighting tears and doesn't want to cry. "Sorry," I say and she looks like she wakes up out of her thoughts. "No no it's fine," she tries to sound it okay. But it's absolutely not okay, I hurt her with one single question and I feel so stupid. "I'm deeply sorry, I shouldn't have asked it," I start rambling like a idiot. "It's not your fault. You didn't know," she mutters and shrugs her shoulders. Her whole mood has changed over a second and she looks so sad and depressed almost.

It becomes silent between us and it feels so akward now. What have I done? Honestly the last week I was thinking about her, not in a romantic way or anything but more like how she would do.

"You have singling?" She asks and acts normal like she didn't almost burst into crying. "One, a sister," I answer. "What's her name?" She asks me interest. She's actually interest in me, I never had that experienced by any woman I meet in my life. They only care about the fact that I'm famous and have money, which should all be spend on them. I accidentally told her I'm light designer, I could slap myself because isn't true. I'm a dj, or I like to call it more a producer. Someone who produces music, makes music and plays it at shows, to let people feel something. That is what music is supposed to do.

"Laura," I say and get out of my thoughts.

"I can pronounce that name, Loaura, or luura. Whatever," she shrugs her shoulders.

I chuckle and I say her name once more time. "Laura," she copies and I clap in my hands. "See, you're learning Dutch," I say and she waves it off. "That pizza was delicious. What's that place called?" She asks curious and I chuckle. "My secret," I say teasing her. "No, tell me, I need to test it out. I love pizza's," she says and my eyes are growing wider. She loves pizzas? "Well i do love pizza too," I say and she slaps on the couch. "Noway, the fuck," she chuckles and I bite in my lip. "But now tell me," she says and touch my shoulder. She pushes me in a playful way. "Fido," I say and she smiles brightly. It look like she has gold in her hands. "Let me write it down," she says and gets up.

My follow her movements and somehow it suits her. I mean it like she is cute. The thought comes back and bite on my lip. "Fuck," I whisper and Noella looks up, "what?" She asks surprised. "Nothing," I say and she comes sitting down on the couch.

"Well yeah, there's something going in that head of yours. Even though I'm totally stranger for you you know for just a little week. Just let you know what your frustration may be, you can tell me," she smiles softly. I don't know what to think. That's one of sweetest things someone has ever said to me.

"So you know I've a girlfriend?" I ask her and she nods. "Well, today she told something very overwhelming and unexpected for me. She told me she is pregnant," I say and her face is just like my reaction when I heard it. "Uhm congrats I guess," she smiles. "Thanks?" I say and frown my eyebrows. "Is amazing right? You're gonna be a dad," she tries to sound excited for me. "The point is. I can't believe it. I don't believe that I'm the baby's dad. It just is impossible. She cheated on me with multiple guys so it won't surprise me if one of these guys is actually the dad. She tries to make me involved of child's life who isn't even mine," I say and feel the fruition coming back just like this morning.

"You know I'm so stupid. I know she cheats on me and betrays me. I always say to myself every time, you gotta leave her because it's becoming toxic and bad. But every time my conscious mind leaves me while we fight and then we kiss and it ends up in sex. I hate it because I don't deserve it, I don't fcking deserve it. But she keeps on playing tricks with me and every time my stupid mind believes them and I'm right back to her. I'm just so toxic as her," I rambled.

"I don't think so," Noella says. Did I really just ramble about my relationships problems with Kiki to her? Wow, you're so dumb Martijn. "Well I do think I'm," I say, I'm so disappointed in myself for every time letting myself down when I kiss Kiki.

"You're victim," Noella says and I stare into the shelves with books on it.

"She likes the attention you give her, she likes to have you wrapped around her finger and the fact you can't get enough of her body. But you truly need to listen to yourself and explore more. Maybe you find someone else you really can connect with and where nothing is toxic at all. Because I don't believe you're toxic," she smiles softly.

Her words came so hard and straight into my heart, which left a earthquake behind. A heart in pieces, like a glass full of water was smashed on the ground.

"You need time to heal from her snd you're gonna feel those scars, these scars won't go away that easily, they remind you of that bad time of your life but some day you wake up and can accept those scars as well, because all these flaws made you, they made who you're now at this moment, at this day," she smiles.

Her words sounds like poetry, does she write poetry? She probably should start.

"Do you write poetry?" I ask her.

She starts laughing and shakes her head. "Why?" She says chuckling.

"Because your words sounds like poetry, they say you tell them, the feeling behind it, it sounds like it," I try to explain as best as I can. But it's just a feeling I can't explain.

"Oh, we'll thank you," she smile, her cheeks turn a bit light pink, she kind of blushes. That's actually quite cute. "I have to think about it," I say and she nods. "I get it and it must be hard," she smiles. Why has she such a safe place feeling. Something where I could tell literally anything and it wouldn't mind anything to her. She would still be there for me and be that amazing person she is. It's incredible. "You want some alcohol?" She asks and gets up. "You have beer?" I ask her and she frowns her eyebrows. "I'm not sure, let me check," she says and walks to her kitchen.

She's a very unique human being.