mysterieus love

33

Noella

I walk around in Tokyo and spend my time being alone, walking around in a city I barely know. Part of me is scared anything will happen to me, but Martijn should've not done the things he did. I see my phone bleeping again, I got called a lot and I'm quite irritated by it, just stop calling me.

I go into a bar and see people enjoying drinks. I sit down and order one drink. the man behind the bar makes my drink. "All alone here?" He asks surprised. I shrug my shoulders, "kind of." "Well, there you go," he smiles and gives me my drink. "What's going on?" He asks. I'm not going to tell my whole life story to him just because he wants too. "You son's have to tell your whole life story, just what happened, you seem you need a good drink," he says. I chuckle and roll with my eyes.

"My boyfriend has cheated on me and I left him for it," I say and he nods. "That's quite impressive. I know a lot of woman who tend to go back to their toxic ex," he says. "I never said my boyfriend is toxic, he absolutely is not toxic. He was very sweet and kind you know. Very open about a lot of things," I say. Why am I defending him in this conversation. "Sorry then," he apologizes and a another customer comes in and asks him for a drink.

After this drink I pay and walk away, I walk around without any clue where I'm, or what to do, I'm doubting to go back to my parents and stay there for a few days, eventually I have to talk to him but I can't now. He hurt me, I mean he becomes a dad, a dad to a stranger's child. If I could wish something, I wished he would be the dad of my kids in some time.. not her, n this strange woman he met in a stupid club, just me. like he says we made love and then there grows a baby in side of this stomach, a baby of him and me. That I'm the one who carries his dna with me, his child.

I sit down on a bench and start crying. I hate it, I hate how he tried to say everything will be fine, cuz they're not fine. I hate how he is implanted in my head and I can't let him go, I'm worrying sick about him, how is he doing? Does he cry as much as I do, or maybe even more? I feel so dumb and stupid. He's the biggest first love I ever felt, for me he's my first lover. I remember him asking me this if I was his first love,

He's my first love. In my eyes not only my first but also my last love. He has no idea how much he means to me and how much it hurts me what he told me. Secretly I hope it's false and I could hug him. Give him the longest kiss he ever had. I just need him next to me,

They're probably on their way to China, tonight Martin has another show over there snd he need to catch a flight. I wish nothing but good luck for him in his career snd everything besides it. I'm here in Tokyo, no idea what to do next?

💔

I go back to my hotel I have booked very quickly. I hear my name and just pretend it's in my head. "Noella," I hear someone yelling form the another side of the street. I have to look, I quickly do and see a female I recognize. What the hell is his sister doing here? Isn't supposed to be in China right now, that show starts in like 3 hours or so.

I just pretend I don't hear her and walk inside the lobby. I feel a hand holding me and I look back. "Listen to me," Laura asks me but without a question mark. Weird. "How did you find me?" I ask her. "Well, you're location on your iPhone is still visual for us," she simply told me. I grab him immediately and go to my iPhones. Fuck, she's right, I should have put it off, so they can not track me down, "let!s go inside and talk," she says and I surely don't want to talk but I have to. She needs to answer my questions as well.

We arrive at my room and she closes the door behind her. "Where is Martin?" I ask her. "In China. He didn't want to leave until he spoke to you but he had too, so I stayed here, looking for you," she says and I sit down onto the bed. Laura is just standing there, is she gonna tell something? "He misses you, he really does, the first night he only has cried or sob," she says and I shrug my shoulders. "Is it real, does he become a dad?" I ask her. I just have a few question I want answers on and the rest, I do love him.

"No," Laura says and I look at her. "What?" I ask her confused but so relieved. "She has tested and they, people at the hospital has mixed up two guys, she didn't even mentioned other guy. So in reality she was pregnant of the other guy snd not Martin. But he doesn't deny that he shared the night with her, cause that indeed happened and he feels a lot of regret for it," she tells me and I bite on my lip. I need to take in all of this. Laura sits down next to me and offers a arm to wrap around me. "I miss him," I whisper. "I understand if you need some more time off before you can talk to him. That's totally fine," she says, "I will tell ya, I've said to him I'm angry on the fact he cheated on you. But he needed me as his supportive and sweet sister so I pushed away my opinion and be there for him. But you were completely right to let him know how it felt," she says and I look at her. Sometimes I still feel guilty the way I walked away and packed all of my stuff out of our hotelroom.

"I need some more days here before i could talk to him," I say and she nods. "Give your body rest and your mind," she smiles and we both fall down onto the bed. "Thanks," I say.