mysterieus love

23

Martin

She walks out of my apartment and I heart the door closing. A huge ache feels through my stomach. I get up and I feel so dumb, Without thinking I grab the award that she has seen and smash it on the ground. "Fuck!" I yell and than I realize what I have done. I smashed a award on the ground, I get something to clean it up and tears are bursting out. I clean it up while I let the tears hit the ground.

I throw it away and quickly walk towards my studio, my safe place, the place where I make music and where I put any true feeling into a song, whatever my mood is. Also they song I just released. It's called real love and I have read out a part of the lyrics to Noella, she doesn't know this whole song is about her. Actually, there are more songs I wrote the last few months are literally all about her. She was my only inspiration to write songs, especially romantic love songs. Because throughout the whole writing process I realized I really loved her. No let me correct this, I love her.

I put my headphones on and continue writing. I feel tears in my eyes and some tears acutely leave my eye and hit on the paper I'm writing on, it is such a mess. Everything feels so fucked up. I fucked it up. I lost her and it hurts me so much. "You dumb fcking idiot!" I say to myself. I could slap myself right now.

I hear a phone call and I just don't wanna pick up. I bite on my lip and eventually pick up, it keeps on ringing. I put it on my desk and don't even bother to look who's calling me.

"Hey bro, I was wondering maybe you could come to the gym again tomorrow," I hear Menno and he falls silent. "Fine," I mutter and he scoffs. "What the hell," he says and I look at him. I swallow and I don't want to talk about it.

"Weren't you with Noella?" He asks me. "Was for god sake," I say and put my head in my hands. Tears are slipping down and Menno hangs up. What the hell? I shrug my shoulders and continue making music.

🗝

I hear my bell ringing and I walk downstairs to open the front door. I open the door and see Menno, "it's even worse," he says and he now clearly sees my red puffy eyes and my whole face who you clearly see that I cried. "What happened bro?" He asks and I let him in.

"She saw a award with Martin Garrix and didn't know," I say and he looks at me confused. "You told me that you told her." He says. "I wanted but I couldn't find the right moment," I say and he shakes his head. "Bullshit, you never actually told her that you're Martin Garrix," he says and looks at me so confused. "No," i say and start crying again, "oh my god," he whispers and put his arm around me, "it's gonna be fine," he promises me. "How? I lost her men, she doesn't want to talk to me. I feel horrible," I say and he pet on my shoulder.

"You know what. I realize I love her. I wanted to say that I love her, I could imagine everything in my future with her. Maybe it sounds so dumb and stupid," I ramble. "Bro, listen to me," he says and sits down next to me. I look at him, with puffy eyes. I'm only crying today, nothing else.

"It doesn't sound dumb or stupid at all. Dude, I never have seen you so much in love with someone as her. Even though we as friends and team don't know her, you're happier and last time your mom was with the team, she talked about how happy you're because of Noella. That she looked pretty good, I have seen her snd the way you both talk to one another is so cute and gentle. You're so gentle with her," he tells me.
"Well she left me," I say and cry again, fuck, what is she doing with my heart?

"Bro, you know what you gotta do. Let her know how much you regret making this mistake. That you love her snd you can't live without her," he says and I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know," I say. "Sleep on it. Tomorrow, gym at 10 am and Louis will be there too so we can discuss it with him too," he offers. "Okay, sure," I say and do not care at this moment.

"Have you written any songs about her?" He asks me. "Yeh," I say and look up on my phone. I let him read the lyrics I written a few days ago.

Here we are, not afraid
Love is running through our veins
If you fall, if you break
I'll be here to numb your pain
When your skies fill with clouds
There's no need to turn around
Here we are, wide awake
It will never be the same
'Cause when your heart burns cold, you need to know
I won't let you go

"Dude, let her read this," he says and I bite on my lip. "I have more," I say and keep on looking for another lyrics I wrote. "Here you go," I say. He reads it.

Shadows of a closing door
No hope even in my dreams
And my heart was a losing war
But you came in peace
In my mind, I was runnin' out of time
Counting hours
In the night, I was looking for a sign
Then I found you
You're the sunlight in the falling rain
You're the fire when it's cold and grey
Feel like summer on a winter's day
You're my shelter in a hurricane

"Bro, damn," he says and i look at him. "You need to let her read these," he says and I look at him. "If you're making it up with her, let her read this. It shows how you feel about her," he smiles and I bite on my lip. "Tomorrow the gym?" I ask him and he nods.