I Still Need You (A BMTH, BFMV, etc. fanfic)

Drown

Rain drizzled down the van's window as it sped along the highway.

I sighed, propping my elbow up so I could lean on my hand, music blasting in my ears.

I felt someone tap my shoulder.

I turned, tugging my earbuds out by the cord so I could hear Uncle Jordan. "Sorry?"

He smiled. A serious smile. "Are you okay? You've been more quiet than usual this drive."

My other uncles were watching TV, mostly out of eavesdropping range.

"I'm just... trying not to think about how much I'm gonna miss Jax. Who knows when I'll see him again?"

Uncle Jordan wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Hey. It'll be fine, okay?"

"What if there's too much time, and he finds someone else?" I whispered.

"Couldn't happen, love. I saw the way he looks at you. He cares about you way too much to even look in another girl's direction."

"You think so?" I asked.

"I know so." He kissed my forehead. "Lighten up, love. He'll be back before you know it."

"Thanks, Uncle Jordan." I popped my earbuds back in, blasting "Your Betrayal" by Bullet For My Valentine, just as a small reminder.

The song's volume decreased for a second as I was notified, before returning to normal.

I glanced down, biting my lip hard as I saw who it was.

Andy Leo: you left without saying goodbye :(

I sighed, texting back,

Me: you barely know me. Why do you care?

Andy Leo: I want to.

Me: why?

Andy Leo: idk. I think you're cool

I rolled my eyes. This wasn't a crush or anything, he was way too old for me. So why the hell...?

I decided to leave his message on read, to deal with later.

I grabbed a handful of Jax's Bullet For My Valentine sweater he'd given me right before we left, breathing in his scent. God, I missed him so much already.

We arrived back in Sheffield hours later, and I fell asleep on the couch, only waking a little as I felt someone pick me up.

I heard Uncle Nicholls laugh. "She's fifteen, mate. You could wake her up."

"She needs the rest." Dad replied, and I felt him cradle me against his chest as we left the bus and went inside.

"Baby, is that you?" A female voice called, and I tried not to wince.

"Sure is, love."

I quickly shuffled enough to let Dad know I was awake.

I met his eyes with a smile. "Good morning."

"It's only nine in the evening, love." Dad replied, gently setting me down.

As he was letting me go, a shorter woman with dark brown hair and bangs squealed as she turned the corner. "Oliver!"

"Hey, Alissa, baby," he laughed, wrapping her up in a tight hug. She threw herself at him, wrapping her legs around him and forcing her to carry him. "Hazel, love, c'mere." He extended a hand, and I saw Alissa wrinkle her nose a little.

Another secret I'd kept from Dad. Alissa still despised me, despite us living under the same roof for nearly seven years.

I tucked my hair behind my ear, letting Dad pull me to his side.

Alissa put her feet on the ground again.

"How was tour?" Alissa asked me with fake interest.

"Um. Good." I whispered, picking at my nails.

"That's good, sweetheart." I winced at the nickname coming out of her mouth, and turned to Dad.

"Are my bags still on the bus?" I kept my voice low.

"They're in the entranceway, love." Dad replied.

"Okay," I hurried away to take them to my room.

I really didn't want to hate Alissa. Honestly, I don't think I did. She just...from the moment she found out I existed, she had a certain distaste for me, because I was the living proof that my dad wasn't above sleeping with groupies. Or he didn't used to be. He was like a whole new person now, one I much preferred.

But Alissa didn't seem to care.

She'd never be my mom, that was for sure, no matter how many times I thought about the maybes and what ifs.

I sighed, grabbing my suitcase and backpack and hauling them up to my room.

Nothing had changed since I left, except maybe some new dust. Same black walls, purple bedspread, bookshelf, wooden desk covered in my sketchbooks, notebooks, and pencils, and various band posters plastered to the walls and door, many of which were signed.

I put away my clothes and other belongings, before plopping down on my bed and opening my new book from Jax, popping my earbuds in.

I opened, and had a small heart attack as I saw a handwritten note on the inside cover.

"Dear Hazel," I mumbled, "Thank you so much for an amazing summer. You really made it the best summer of my life, and I can't wait until we see each other again. Miss you already! Jax."

I closed the book just to hug it to my chest. "I miss you, too." I whispered into the spine.

I looked at my calendar on the back of my door. Only one week before school would start up again.

Dread made my stomach drop.

It felt like an eternity between now and next summer, and every fear I'd had building up erupted in my mind.

What if they finally really hurt me or my family at school?

What if they find out who my family really is?

What if Jax finds someone else and forgets about me?

What if he moves on to someone who actually deserves him?

I clutched my head, trying to drown out the horrible thoughts. But they just kept coming, and fear built up in my throat, panic beginning to overtake me.

I collapsed to my knees, grabbing my chest and trying to focus so I wouldn't pass out, but it was a lost cause.

"D-Dad..." I rasped, but knew he would never hear me.

So I just let the darkness wash over me and pull me under, succumbing to my fears.

I heard footsteps, and a panicked high pitched voice yell, "Oli! Oli, come quick!"

Then it all went black.

A/N: Happy 2024! 🥳 I know I'm incredibly late, but that's just cause my stupid brain kept forgetting to remind me to put it on an earlier chapter, so heck it we're doin it now. I wish you all the bestest of years, and thanks again for reading!

(Also I apologize, I'm sure Alissa salls is wonderful in real life, but I thrive on drama so we gonna roll with this. Thx ;P )