CHAPTER 34

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*play die for you by dean*

I'm surrounded by complete darkness. I haven't been able to sleep for days. Whenever I close my eyes I remember the look in Cléo's face and I jump awake. I ruined it. I ruined the best thing that could possibly happen to me. I've been wallowing in self pity and stress. Classes start back up in a couple of days and I haven't even picked my classes yet. 

I pick up my phone from beside me and look to see no notifications. It's been about a week since everything had went down and I can't even find it in myself to apologize to neither Cléo nor Tako.

I find myself scrolling through my camera roll looking at all the pictures and videos I have of Cléo. I chuckle laughing at the video of her pretending to be me in my clothes. I scroll again to another picture I took a screenshot of when she was doing her makeup. I didn't even realize I was crying until I saw a tear drop on my phone screen. Then two more, then three more and I couldn't stop. For the first time ever since my grandmama's funeral, I cried. I cried and cried until I felt my breath get stuck in my throat.

I jolted awake and realized I had fallen asleep. I groan out and stretch my body getting out of bed. I look around my room and sigh, it's happening again. I'm falling down the hole again and this time I don't have Cléo to push me to do better. 

I step into the shower and take my time washing my body and my face. I don't know what snapped in me, but I decided to get myself together. If I was going to get Cléo back, I needed to be in my best mental state. I needed to be a better person, a better me. Stepping out the shower, it's like I had a post shower clarity. But before I make everything right with Cléo, I had to make things right with my best friend.

After cleaning up my room and getting myself situated I make my way towards Tako's apartment. I knock on the door and I hear a bunch of shuffling before his door opens.

"Hey man." I say awkwardly. He doesn't say anything but opens the door a little for me to come in. It's silent for a while before I cough awkwardly. 

I inhale deeply. "I first wanna start off by saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ever thinking that you would betray me in anyway. I'm sorry for not trusting you as a friend, my best friend. I shouldn't have let my insecurities hinder and destroy such a strong relationship that we've fostered for years. I truly am sorry man. I can't lose you right now. You're a precious friend to me and I can't afford to lose-" My voice cracks and he wraps his arms around me and hugs me. I sob into his arms and all you hear in the room is my sniffles and Tako's too.

We finally let go of each other and can't help but laugh. "Damn man you really got me  crying." Tako says wiping his face.

"Someone told me that crying is good for the soul." I say smiling sadly.

We walk to his kitchen area and we sit in the dining area. He pour me a drink and I quietly say thank you before taking a sip. 

"Have you talked to her?" He ask after a moment of silence. I sigh nodding my head.

"She hasn't responded to any of my texts or my calls." I respond sadly. I down my drink quickly.

"Do you have anything stronger?" He nods and walks towards his cupboard and grabs a bottle of Hennessy. I chuckle at him.

"You and your dark liquor." I grab it from him and pour a little bit in my cup.

"You asked for something stronger, that's the strongest one I have." He shrugs.

"So." He pauses taking a sip of his drink, "How do you plan on getting her back?" He asks and I sit in silence. 

I drop my head on the counter, "I don't even know man." I say frustratedly.

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