Dare to love (Sakook)

Chaotic choices

Sana

"So you guys know each other?", I nodded, looking at him and giving out a brief smile. 

Jungkook, Jimin and I are currently sitting in the cafe, he was long gone by now, I feel like I care less now, surly that moment made me realise of how fucking stupid I was. But again...because of him I met Jungkook. Jimin called up that time but my eyes fell on Jungkook, his eyes shut, forcelly shut, I almost teared up looking at him. 

That moment, I realised how much I missed him, how much I wanted him to come back in my life, I have never made a connection this strong yet this forbidden. I felt relieved, happy and that moment I knew there's nothing else around this world, the saviour, my life saviour is back in the most magical moment. It was hard to believe, it took me many more minutes to realise that it wasn't another dream of mine but reality. 

I hugged him, I felt my heart getting an immediate warmth, I was so stupid to cry over that man again. Sometimes I feel I might come out selfish, if I keep on taking up Jungkook's time over my stupidity but I want him, I want him to balance me, to make me calm, to make me for further in my life. 

"I can't believe you are here", I said, getting excited, my hands gripped his, he flashed a small smile, nodding, his eyes looking sad and I can sense a hint of worry. "How do you know each other?", Jimin asked while sipping his coffee. 

I gave Jungkook a quick glance when he slipped his hands away from mine. 

"We met last year, in Hawaii...remember the guy I told you about, the friend I found", I took another look at Jungkook, and an unknowing frown formed on my face. Am I bothering him, is something wrong.  Jimin beamed a bright smile, he knows about him in my stories, he knows some of the fun incidents I told him. He couldn't believe at first but then I assured him, it was kind of funny. 

Meanwhile, in this conversation, Jungkook was spacing out a lot. It's been almost an year and he changed for only good, he looks more professional, more focused and .....serious. He still has that enchanting eyes, but those are filled with sadness today. It somewhat pains me. Is he not happy to meet me. 

"Are you ok Jungkook?", I asked, He just looked at me and diverted his eyes to Jimin, that look he has on, talks so much about his behaviour, as if he wanted to say something, he want to express but couldn't. 

"I am good, I was just going home and in the way thought about buying something, stopped and then I saw her, and thought about helping", not even once he looked at me, as if I was not in the scene, as if I was invisible. He stood up cutting my thoughts. 

"I'll be leaving now", I looked up at him, wanting him to stay. Jimin stood up, "Hey, have lunch with us",  Jungkook shook his head, too eagerly. "I am planning to cook today, those were just some muffins, you see, also I have to report to the office, you two enjoy",  Jimin was persistent but he didn't budged and I was lost of words, he is acting really strange. 

He didn't spared me a glance, not even when I pulled out from the hug that time, as if he wanted to say it will be his last time to meet me...something really felt off. 

"Alright then Mr. Jeon, thanks for helping her and of course a big thank you for accompanying her in Hawaii", and I was about to say something when he dashed off, without sparing another glance at me. Maybe he had a rough day or just...didn't liked my presence, that's actually bothering me. Does he not remeber Hawaii, It's the only thing that let me live the following year, he was the only person who gave me the will and power. Unconditional solace and warmth. Does he despise me?? 

That made me sadder...fuck, I feel like crying, thinking about all of this. 

"You must be hungry", he nodded, making a desperate face, I chuckled. Ordering for both of us. He talked about his shoot, but I didn't felt great, I felt emptiness, as if I missed something really important.