Cowboy

54) Meeting

Alicia and Daryl sat in the meeting room with the rest of the council members. Hershel had told her to stay in bed but she refused, insisting she had to participate.

She held Jordan in her lap, gently rocking her. Daryl had made her sit with him away from everyone else, just in case.

"Patrick was fine yesterday and he died overnight." Carol spoke. "Two people died that quick?" She sighed. "We'll have to separate everyone that's been exposed."

"That's everyone in that cell block." Daryl said. "That's all of us, except Ali and Jordan. Maybe more."

Hershel inhaled deeply. "We know that this sickness can be lethal. We don't know how easily it spreads. Is anyone else showing symptoms that we know of?"

"We can't just wait and see." Alicia sighed. "There's children." She looked down at Jordan. "I love those people but I've got my own kid and my husband to worry about. It's not just the illness, people die they become a threat."

"We need a place for them to go." Hershel agreed. "They can't stay in D. We can't risk going in there to clean it up."

"We can use cell block A." Carol suggested.

"Death row?" Glenn raised an eyebrow. "That's not much of an upgrade."

"It's clean. That's an upgrade." Daryl said. "Think that'll work for Doctor S.?"

"I'll help Caleb get it set up." Hershel said.

Coughing down the hallway caught there attention. Alicia watched as Daryl stood up, going to see who it was.

She sighed, staying back to make sure Jordan wasn't exposed. After a few minutes Daryl walked back in the room. He stopped a few feet away from Alicia.

"Babe..." she sighed. "You've already been around me and Jordan. If you were gonna give it to us it's too late to avoid us."

He nodded, walking closer to her. "I'm gonna go help burry the dead ones. You go with Beth and Judith." He leaned down to kiss her.

Alicia held Jordan up so he could kiss the top of her head. "I love you." She said.

"I love you too. Both of you."

—————
Outside Daryl was digging graves and talking to Rick.

"Congratulations on your daughter." Rick told him.

"Thanks man." He stepped out of the hole he was digging. "She picked a shit time to make an entrance."

Rick laughed. "So did Judith. They've got that in common."

Inside Alicia was sitting on the bed, smiling down at the now awake Jordan. "You look just like your daddy you know that?" She grinned. "Yeah you look just like him."

Jordan stared back at her. Her bright blue eyes looked around her mother's face. She was perfect in Alicia's eyes, even if she was particularly small.

So many worries flooded Alicia's mind now that her daughter was here. There was a flu going around and her daughter was premature.

What if she gets sick?

What's if she gets bit?

What happens when she starts crying?

What if I can't feed her myself and we run out of formula?

What if the governor comes back?

What if I'm not good enough?

Thoughts swam in Alicia's mind, causing her breathing to pick up and her heart rate to increase.

She placed Jordan down in her little cradle that Daryl had found a few months ago. She sat on the floor beside her, bringing her knees into her chest.

Alicia began to cry for the first time since she'd given birth. How was she supposed to raise a kid in a world as shit as this one?

Beth walked in, finding Alicia crying in the floor. "Hey, what's wrong?" She kneeled down beside her, grabbing her arm.

"I can't do this." She cried. "I can't take care of her."

"Yes you can." Beth said sternly. "Ali, you are one of the strongest people I know. So is Daryl. Between the two of you, Jordan has a better chance in this world than any of us."

Alicia shook her head, tears still streaming down her face. "I had a miscarriage with my first baby... I couldn't even keep him alive long enough to actually have him. How the fuck am I gonna keep her safe?"

"Alicia." Beth grabbed her face. "Don't do that. Having a miscarriage was not your fault. Things just don't work out sometimes. Jordan is here. She is here and she needs you."

Alicia nodded, sniffing. "I'm just so scared Beth. I'm so scared I won't be good enough for her."

She sighed. "Nobody is a perfect parent. Not you, not Daryl, not Rick, not even my dad. You'll make mistakes... but what's important is that you'll fix them. I know you will."

Beth sat down beside her, resting her bed on Alicia's shoulder. "What was your son's name?"

Alicia smiled. "I was gonna name him after my dad. I don't know why. The son of a bitch never did anything for me."

Beth nodded. "What was your dad's name?"

"Negan." She answered. "The bastards dead now, I guess I was just trying to make something good from him."

The younger girl smiled. "Was your dad a piece of shit?"

Alicia laughed, nodding. "Absolutely. I honestly didn't give him a thought when the world ended. God I hated him."

Beth laughed. "I'm glad I got lucky in the father department."

She smiled. "You really did."