Cowboy

70) Not Over It

Alicia went back into her house, looking for Daryl. She knew he was in one of his moods now. When she got inside all she saw was Beth holding Jordan.

"Thanks for watching her." Alicia sighed, sitting down on the couch beside her.

"Of course." She smiled. "Where's Daryl?"

Alicia rolled her eyes. "He stormed off when Rick broke up a fight. He's in one of his moods."

Beth snorted. "He's always in a mood."

Alicia looked at her, furrowing her brows. "What do you mean?"

She sighed. "When we were out in the woods... we came up on this house and we stayed there for a night. He... well he just kinda broke."

"Why?"

Beth looked at her, smiling slightly. "You."

Beth and Daryl stood outside, Daryl in her face yelling.

"Rick! You sure as hell ain't never gone see Maggie again!" He yelled.

Beth shook her head. "Daryl... you can't think like that. Alicia-"

"Alicia is dead!" He turned away from her, looking down at the ground. A tear slipped down his face. "The governor rolled right up to our gates! Maybe if I- maybe if I didn't stop looking."

"It's not your fault." Beth cried. "She's alive."

Daryl shook his head. "Naw she ain't." He sniffed. "She's gone and it's my fault."

Beth wrapped her arms around him from the back, resting her head on his back. "She's alive, Daryl. You have to believe she is."

He cried, slightly shaking. "She's gone Beth. Damn it, she's dead."

Alicia nodded as Beth finished her story. "He thought I was dead."

She shook her head. "I don't think he really believed that. I just think... I think he was so tired of losing people he loves. He couldn't handle it anymore and he was preparing himself for the worst."

Alicia nodded. "Can you handle Jordan for a little while longer? I've got to find him."

Beth smiled. "Sure." He held Jordan up to Alicia so she could kiss her head.

Alicia left, walking around Alexandria, trying to find him. Finally she did, spotting him sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall in a far corner.

She walked up to him, gently sitting down beside him. They sat in silence for a moment before she broke it. "Beth told me what happened at the cabin before you found everyone."

Daryl looked at her, visibly grimacing. "Yeah?" He grunted. "Something you wanna say about it?"

Alicia shook her head, trying not to get irritated. "No." She said calmly. "I was just saying."

He nodded. "Then why'd you come over here?"

She sighed. "Because I love you. I gotta make sure you're alright." He didn't answer. "If you don't want me here, I'll go." She started to stand up.

Daryl quickly grabbed her arm. He chewed on his bottom lip as she looked at him. "Stay."

She sat back down, leaning against the metal wall. "You gonna tell me what's wrong?"

He sighed. "I keep thinking about him." She saw the confused look on her face. "Merle." He clarified.

"Oh." She nodded.

"I just left him out there. Didn't even give the bastard a funeral." He scoffed. "What kind of shit brother am I?"

Alicia shook her head. "You're not a shit brother. It's hard to lose someone like that. Trust me... I know. You just weren't thinking straight."

"It's been months since it happened though." He said. "Ali... I should be over it by now."

"It doesn't matter how long it's been." She told him. "You'll never really be over it."

He looked up at her and then back down to his hands. Alicia watched as he chewed on his bottom lip. "Thank you." He said quietly, obviously nervous.

She leaned over, kissing him. She expected it to be a quick kiss but Daryl's hands locked around her neck and her waist. Her hand found his hair.

Daryl finally pulled away, standing up and offering his hand to her. She took it, letting him hoist her up.

"Cmon." He said. "The others are probably wonderin' where we're at."