Unbreakable Bonds

Chapter 3

2010

Days moved slow but the years moved fast. The holidays were horrible. Dom tried to make them happy and like old times but they weren't. The illusion of Santa was gone, the joyful times around family was gone. I was a shell of the person I used to be. My therapist says that life won't always be this painful, but life without my family isn't a life I want to live.

I was riddled with anxiety. Leaving the house for school was hard. I barely made it through the day. Dom decided it would be best to do homeschooling. That was the best idea he had for me. The school were against it, my therapist was against it, but he didn't care. I was still playing soccer. I hated it. It wasn't the same, my mum wasn't there to coach me or support me or even critic me. Oh what I would do for her to criticise me again.

Dom was trying to hold it together. I knew he wasn't but he wouldn't tell me. I could see it in his eyes. his whole world has crashed and suddenly he had to parent me. He wouldn't go out clubbing or hang out with his friends very often, he didn't leave me for long. It made tension rise between us.

Ronnie was still around. I pushed her away but she kept coming back. I didn't want her to feel forced to be my friend after that. I felt guilty. Part of her childhood was taken from her, she saw things she didn't need to see, I wanted to protect her. She was older than me but I should've protected her.

My season with Melbourne City had gone well. It was my first season in the A-League and I had gotten rookie of the year at only 12 years old. I scored 16 times which was fine. Good enough. Not good enough for me. I wanted to be better, no I needed to be better.

At the end of the season I received a letter from the Barcelona Football Club. They had invited me to join their academy and eventually move into the B team. I didn't care. I didn't want to move from my home or from the safety of the A-League.

Dom was so proud, as was Ronnie and her mum. I, not so much. The thoughts crept in. Why now? Was it because of who my parents were? Was it a pity invite? What's the point? I hate soccer. I hate planes. I hate everything.

Ultimately, Dom decided that we were going to Spain. We were going to talk to Barca and visit the city. He said it would be a nice holiday. A way to recharge and have a mental rest. I didn't want that. I welcomed the pain I had. I knew my family felt pain. I wanted to feel it. TO know what it was like for them. No one understood my feelings.

The flight was horrible. Dom was stressed, security was a nightmare, the plane was full and the food was shit. I was grumpy and not in the mood to talk. Thankfully we went to the hotel first. I had a shower and some food and felt slightly better. Dom made us leave for the Barca headquarters way too early. I was so annoyed by that.

We sat outside and waited. The silence didn't bother me, I preferred that. Dom however hated the silence. He kept wanting to say something but Everytime he'd just close his mouth. 15 minutes before we had to go in he turned to me.

"Stia please be polite in there. I know you don't want to be here, but this will be good for you. For us. We can start fresh. No one will know who we are or what happened. You're a star, make them proud yeah?"

Make them proud.

I wanted to scream at him. Smack him. Bite him. Run away. But I didn't. I simply nodded my head and headed into the meeting. We checked into reception and waited a few minutes before Joan came and got us. He was speaking broken English, I guess he didn't get the memo that we spoke Spanish.

My mum is Spanish. Sorry no, she was Spanish. We are fluent. It was the only language spoke at home, Ronnie learnt it too. It was fun to talk to her in Spanish at soccer or school when no one else could understand.

He started talking to some other people in Spanish. Looking at us like we were aliens. I was growing impatient and annoyed. As he turned to translate and introduce the others I spoke up.

"Podemos entender todo lo que acabas de decir. Hablamos un español perfecto" (We can understand everything you just said. We speak perfect Spanish) I had a slight attitude but they all looked shocked.

The meeting went fine. Dom agreed and signed the papers saying I would be joining the academy the following September. He also agreed that I would be joining the summer sessions they had. Again, not something I wanted but it didn't seem to matter to him.

We left and got dinner. Making the short walk back to the hotel. I showered and went straight to bed. Not even saying thank you or good night to dom. He was used to it at this point.

We only stayed a few days. Making the trip back to Melbourne to start packing up. Ronnie came over as soon as she was told the news. She was furious I didn't tell her. My reasoning being that I didn't want to go anyway and that dom decided it was what was best.

We left in mid May. The flight was over Mother's Day so we could ignore it. Again, Dom thought that was best. Him thinking he knew what was best was really pissing me off.

We moved into a small house in Mollet del Vallès. It still didn't feel like home. I knew we could afford better and bigger. Even since the murders we had been rich. I mean we were rich before that, but even more now since all the life insurance plans were payed out. Dom refused to say how much but I googled and it was a lot. A lot a lot.

Before I knew it, it was the first day of the Barca summer session. It was insanely hot and I really didn't want to go. MY anxiety was getting worse and I felt like vomiting. Dom kept telling me to enjoy it, make new friends. He was so optimistic. I want to punch him.

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Alexia coming in the next part. Remember this is allllll fake. Nothing is real.